Late last night I came home and caught the end of Paranormal Activity. My roomies were watching it to determine just how much they could make fun of it within a single sitting. I believe the general consensus was that the movie would have been had the demon merely been a group of menacing squirrels.
Anyhow, after the movie we started talking about that rare breed of the LGBT community that is so sparse that only the selected few have come across them in real life: the male bisexual.
It seems that we all know our fair share of bisexual women. The bisexual woman seems to be a very common breed that is actually running rampant across Illinois. For the sake of the argument, I’d like to define a bisexual as someone who not only is sexually interested in both genders, but has sustained relationships with both genders as well. Using this definition, have you ever really met a male bisexual?
I personally don’t know any male bisexuals. I know guys that have slept with women and men, but now they really tend to just focus on one of the two genders. There have been several studies on this topic. When showing groups of women who identify as bisexual pornography, special electrodes (or something) attached to their genitals showed sexual arousal during scenes of both women and men. However, when a similar study was done on bisexual men, the man would usually show a preference (so to speak) for only one gender.
One of my roommates has a theory: if bisexual men do exist, they can technically choose which gender they would like to pursue. And, in a society that puts so much pressure on creating spawn, why not just suppress any homosexual urges and focus solely on the heterosexual ones? After all, you’ll get a lot less flack for your sexuality and you can even join the army and kill terrorists like you’ve always dreamed of!
If this is true, why are women bisexuals so willing to form relationships with both? Sure, many men find lesbians hot, but lesbians are just as apt to receive discrimination out in public as a pair of guys are.
The guys I’ve talked to who have met bisexual men tell me that they’ve never actually dated a bisexual, but at most have fucked around with them. Is this bisexuality or is it just greedy? Or worse, is it a gay man not comfortable enough with his own sexuality that he feigns relationships with women and just gets his jollies off with guys after having a few Keystones too many.
Is the bisexual male a real creature or is he a mythical beast? The world may never know.
legendary print of the male bisexual
Liam Reed: 1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com
Comments
CL (CL) says:
(Posted February 4th, 2010 at 1:16 pm)
Although I can’t provide any solid evidence of the male bisexual, I think the reason you see so many more female than male bisexuals is the same reason that it’s generally ok for women to wear men’s clothes than it is for men to wear women’s.
To put it another way, I think it’s a consequence of male privilege. A woman might get flack for acting or dressing too masculine, but a woman wearing a suit to work would get nothing compared to the man wearing a dress to work. Why? Because although the woman might get flack for stepping outside her gender role, our culture has a pretty easy time understanding why she might want to cross over. But a man “giving up” his male privilege is apt to be seen as comical, absurd, or grotesque.
To carry the analogy back to sexuality, we tend to see any non-heterosexual male as giving up a certain privilege, even dignity, associated with his heterosexual masculinity, that just doesn’t apply in the same way for non-heterosexual women. So, for a bisexual, who theoretically has a choice over identification, the cost of a “bisexual” or “queer” identification for a man is seen as being greater than it would be for a woman.
Benjamin S (Benjamin S) says:
(Posted February 4th, 2010 at 6:03 pm)
Hi Liam,
I’m bi. thought you knew.
I do get some shit for it from gay people, but its nothing personal and they usually get over it.
I have also met another bi guy on campus and one in DC.
see you at thursgays, or gotham.
Tim Croxord (Tim Croxord) says:
(Posted February 4th, 2010 at 6:06 pm)
In many ways, I agree with Sean. When I first came out, I told everyone that I was bisexual. This wasn’t out of confusion or fear, it was just the way I felt. I had a girlfriend my senior year of high school (and I know a lot of you gay men are rolling your eyes and thinking “yeah, we all did…”) and ironically the only thing that kept me from having sex with her was the fact that I was struggling with my religious views. I was still trying to be a good little Christian and save sex for marriage lol. Have I had sex with a female? No. Would I? Yes. Does that not give me a right to identify as a Bisexual? The vagina is not a scary place for me and it gets just as much of a “rise” out of me as the penis.
I would also like to point out a couple of the reasons I have never been with a female. First, I have been with the same person (a guy) since I was 18. Second, the women I’m attracted to are not likely to want a relationship with me. They just can’t seem to get past the fact that I have a sexual history with men. Why spend the time looking for the one woman who can see past my sexuality and sexual history when I have had no trouble in the mens department? Am I saying I’m giving up on that part of me? No. At this moment, I do feel I prefer men to women because that’s what I’m most familiar with. But hey, sexuality is on a spectrum right?
Finally I would like to say that I’m a little disappointed in the LGBT community when it comes to the issue of bisexuality. “Bi now, gay later” seems to be the mentality. Yes, it is true that many gay men initially come out as bisexual because its more comfortable. But does that mean it’s that way for every “bisexual?” I have received far more scrutiny from the LGBT community about being bisexual than I have from the “straight” community. I think its a stretch to say that the bisexual male is nonexistent. I would say they are more invisible than anything else. If I have a girl on my arm, society sees me as straight. If I have a guy, I’m assumed to be gay. As far as the science experiment goes, I can see the validity but there are too many variables. If you were to show me a picture of my bf, I’m sure the readings would be off the chart. But if you were to show me a picture of a guy I’m not attracted to, you wouldn’t get much at all. I’d imagine the same would apply for pictures of women. I don’t understand how a lesbian would want to be with a girl who has had a sex change into a guy, but I accept it nonetheless. In a time where LGBT issues are the new civil rights movement we should all be united in the cause instead of trying to decide whether the “B” should remain in “LGBT.”
Phil (Phil) says:
(Posted February 15th, 2010 at 5:46 pm)
Interesting. We should chat sometime. I identify as bi… but this is a VERY complex issue–as you can guess.
Ryan (Ryan) says:
(Posted April 12th, 2010 at 4:58 pm)
You need new posts! Your blog is always interesting to come back to and check out rants. Peace bro.
Beth Ditto (Beth Ditto) says:
(Posted April 26th, 2010 at 10:17 am)
I agree with Tim–sexuality is a spectrum. It is ridiculous to identify people in such black and white terms. There’s nothing that says you have to like one or the other equally or not at all in order to be considered bi, gay, lesbian, straight, etc. Humans seek order for some reason, and they don’t like the idea that there are men out there who, nine times out of ten, like men, but occasionally enjoy the company of women, too. People like that disrupt the social constructs of a polarized sexuality: gay versus straight. Humans are certainly not that simple, yet scientific theories, for some reason or another, always seek out the simplest explanation (Thank you, Occam’s Razor). Perhaps it would be best if we just stopped grouping people into LGBT as it is too semantically binding–or perhaps I’m just being cynical.
Marie (Marie) says:
(Posted June 12th, 2010 at 2:16 am)
Hello,
I really enjoy discussing this topic because I find it so fascinating! Not to mention - funny that so many people have a problem with someone else sexuality. I completely see that, but I don’t agree with that perspective at all.
However, I do agree with Sean Callihan & CL for their comments. I don’t think it’s as uncommon as it seems because a lot of people hide who they really are. I know a guy that is with another man, but never knew that he was attracted to other guys. He had always believed he was straight until he met his new boyfriend. He doesn’t label himself as bisexual, but if we’re being honest about it - I think we can safely say he is because he was with a few females before meeting this guy and he was attracted to them just as much. Isn’t that fascinating? Well, it’s mysterious and that’s a beautiful part of life 
Peace and love ♥
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1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com
Sean Callihan (Sean Callihan) says:
(Posted February 4th, 2010 at 12:21 pm)
I am actually dating a male bisexual. He does have an attraction to both sexes. He has been in long term relationships with women, and men (myself). We have both gone through a lot of crap from the LGBT community because he identifies as a bisexual. I’ve gotten in arguments with others, particularly gay males, that he is just gay and doesn’t want to admit it. This is false. He has been sexually active with women, and men. He has no problem with admitting to dating me (a male) and he has no problem admitting he is attracted to women.
I think a lot of it is the LGBT community that makes it hard for males to identify as bisexual. It has been shown time and again that women have much more sexual freedom, but men have always had to fall into a binary system. More often than not gay men will tell someone that is coming out as bisexual that they are just confused, when this is just a selfish immature way of dealing with someone’s sexuality. Who are we to speculate on another person’s sexuality?