The title of this CNN article says it all: Gay dating site’s Super Bowl ad rejected by CBS
CBS says it’s because of financial reasons but the site claims it’s discrimination. Hm…..
Regardless, this is already great advertising for the site ManCrunch. The message will get out to the gays whether they’re watching it during the Super Bowl or watching it on ManCrunch’s site after hearing that CBS turned em down, and this way they’re at least saving 3 million big ones.
A few of my friends gathered around my television last night to watch Mr. Obama deliver his State of the Union. Obama went ahead and said that he’d be getting rid of DADT within the year. Clearly, these guys weren’t too happy about it:
Neither, apparently, was John McCain.
“In his State of the Union address, President Obama asked Congress to repeal the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy. I am immensely proud of, and thankful for, every American who wears the uniform of our country, especially at a time of war, and I believe it would be a mistake to repeal the policy.
“This successful policy has been in effect for over 15 years, and it is well understood and predominantly supported by our military at all levels. We have the best trained, best equipped, and most professional force in the history of our country, and the men and women in uniform are performing heroically in two wars. At a time when our Armed Forces are fighting and sacrificing on the battlefield, now is not the time to abandon the policy.”
For those of you interested in hearing a different opinion on the subject, check out Lt. Dan Choi’s upcoming talk here at U of I on February 15th. He sent out a message encouraging YOU to sign this petition. Do online petitions do anything? No not really, but might as well give it a shot.
I don’t know though. Maybe I’ll actually be willing to support this president when he actually fulfills something on this list instead of just talking about it.
I really ought have mentioned this sooner, but The Penny Dreadful Players are holding auditions for Frank Wedekind’s Spring Awakening tomorrow (Tuesday) between 6 and 9 PM. Here’s a snippet of the email I got from the PDP listserv:
“… just wanted to remind you all that PDP is hosting open auditions for “Spring
Awakening”, the 1891 play by Frank Wedekind. The show traces the dawning
sexual awareness of four teenagers, Melchior, Moritz, Wendla, and Hansy, who,
in their painfully funny contradictions — they are at once too innocent and not
remotely innocent at all — remain fresh and unsettling even in our own sex-
saturated culture. If you’re interested in reading the show before auditions, we
are using Jonathan Franzen’s translation. Auditions are Tuesday, January 26,
from 6-9 in Greg Hall Lobby, and the show will go up on April 9th and 10th. If
you have any questions, feel free to e-mail director Sara Collins
(scollin5@illinois.edu) or producer Natalia Wolosowicz
(nwolosowicz@gmail.com), or see our website at www.illinois.edu/ro/pdp.”
Be sure to check it out. It has everything you could ever hope for, including gay people and botched abortions. Yay!
Ok, it’s not like we all didn’t know already, but it seems Boltini is finally coming out of the closet. It could be that it’s just bi-curious. Or maybe (and this is much more likely) I simply haven’t been paying attention and this Boys Night Out thing has been happening every week. It doesn’t matter. If you’re looking for something to do on Wednesdays after 9 PM and you’re 21+ head over to Boltini. They’re advertising cheap appetizers, $4 Mo’tinis (???) and $1.50 Miller High Life bottles. Come on guys … that’s like … the champagne of beers.
I was gonna post a pic of the guy on the event page and make a witty comment of sorts, but there’s so much pubeage goin’ on there that I think the producer at the217 would give me a talkin’ to. Check out the event yourself here
If you’re interested in gettin’ on that UIUC bus to Madison, Wisconsin for the MBLGTACC conference this year, you don’t have too much longer to sign up. The conference is February 19-21. You can sign up for this in the LGBT Resource Center (aka The Office) until noon on February 5th.
It’s $50 and that covers the ride there, the registration fee, and the hotel. This does NOT cover food.
I finally have time to do more interviews, and this time around I really need your help. If you have read The Frat Boy Diaries or The Catholic School Boys, you know that I like to talk to people within the LGBTetc Community that do not necessarily represent the normal stereotype or are often ignored.
If you know anyone who is both LGBT and has a disability (e.g. blind, deaf, in a wheelchair, etc.) please have them contact me at withtongue@gmail.com. If enough people are willing to be interviewed, maybe we can shed some light on the subject as it exists in our own community.
Thanks for your help.
Liam
withtongue@gmail.com
NOTE: THIS ARTICLE IS NOT FOR PFLAG MEMBERS. I mean, you can read it if you really want to, but you’ll probably be learning more than you want to about your child.
No really. You might not want to read this.
**
You’re gay. There are certain things in life that are more likely to happen to you than to your heterosexual counterparts. It is much more likely that some dumbass will throw a beer bottle at you while you’re walking home, simply because of how fabulous your outfit is. It’s also quite likely that fat girls will be attracted to you and try to be your friend. But there’s one plague that haunts all of us: P.D.
The first time I got poopy dick happened a couple of years ago. Things were going quite well up until that very last moment when I pulled out. How, after all, could one properly prepare for such a thing? I’ve asked around and apparently this has happened to many a kind soul: unknowing fornicators having a gay old time until they choose to pull out to change position and then realizing that that god awful smell is somewhat sloppily attached to their penis.
Poopy dick comes in all shapes and sizes. For those of you less familiar, poopy dick can be nothing more than a thin line of glaze covering your dick to full on bits of turd sticking to your dick (and/or finger, where appropriate). To most of us, this is not an appealing event. But fear not my friend, there is hope.
First, I would like to mention a few things to consider when you first encounter the poopy dick. After you have regained mental stability, we can then begin to assess the greater problem: how to be rid of poopy dick entirely.
It is of utmost importance to remember that no one is to be blamed. Do not hold this against the bottom! Unless he is on some sort of vendetta, he probably did not intend to give you a sloppy stinky penis. He (or she, let’s not forget our sisters who can spread poopy dick just as easily) will probably be feeling embarrassed knowing that the odor filling the bedroom is none other than his (or her) fecal matter.
All that needs to be done at this point is to grab a tissue (please, no towels) and wipe your weeping member down. The same is to be said for the bottom, who is also encourage to grab the nearest tissue and wipe away his or her bottom. Both participants are encouraged to take their time in the bathroom, and the bottom is especially encourage to use the toilet to be rid of any other remains that may be milling about. After all obvious signs of poop have been rid of, it is now best for the couple (throuple, etc.) to take a shower together. Instead of shutting one’s self away, it is important to recognize that yes, this happened, and it is nothing to get upset over. People poop every damn day. If we were to collect the poops that are had in Champaign-Urbana during a single day, well, I’m sure you can imagine for yourself the many different specimens we would acquire.
But let’s not dwell on such dreadful images. After you guys are all cleaned up, you might as well just fuck in the shower. If it were to happen again, which at this point it shouldn’t, cleanup becomes much easier.
image courtesy Sam Harding-Forrester
**
Let’s move on to some general PDP: Poopy Dick Prevention. Asking a few friends about this epidemic, it’s become quite clear that the harder the stool is, the less likely your chances of receiving poopy dick are. How does one increase hardness, you may ask. Fiber is your friend. But how much fiber should you take? Our bodies are all different (compare Rosie to Ellen for a prime example) and we all require different amounts of nutrients, alcohol, etc. The perfect place to find the right amount of fiber for you is on a website provided by the University of Maryland (see, New England is good for something after all!). They created a fiber calculator that you can find here. My daily recommendation is at about 31 grams of fiber per day.
Where can you get fiber? Nuts (your favorite!), wheat breads, oats, prunes, bananas, berries, potato skins, flax seeds (perfect and nearly tasteless in shakes), and so much more. If you aren’t a fan of nuts (which you clearly are, otherwise you wouldn’t be in this position) there are plenty of supplements out there for you to try. One of my favorites is called a fiber chew, which is essentially a Starburst except you should only eat one of them because, let’s face it, constipation is not the solution.
Enemas are another way to fight this conundrum. Now, I’ve never had one myself but I’ve been told that they do quite the wondrous work when it comes to cleaning that crap out of there. This is not something you want to do all too often. You have a mucus membrane for a reason down there, and if you use enemas too often you’ll soon no longer be able to take a shit without them. As I said, I have no experience with this, so please, if you have a story, post it in the comment section of this blog. It is definitely possible to do so anonymously.
One final word of advice, dipsticks are for cars, not for your ass. There are only so many ways to test for poopy dick, and the ones I imagine to be the healthiest are by using a dildo, a finger or two, or, of course, a dick. Other good habits are to defecate BEFORE being fucked by somebody’s 8-inch cock. After all, even if you’re fortunate to not spread poopy dick, you’re still having shit rammed up your ass. This is not pleasant. Also, take a shower before you do the deed. And, if your bottom says, “Hey, I need to shower, gimme 20 minutes,” let him do so. Do not rush! If you do, you’ll be the one paying the price later.
We have the chance to make a difference. Wear the brown ribbon and warn your loved ones before it’s too late. Share your PD story here to show the world that they’re not alone.
Well, if you’re only going to vote for them ’cause they’re gay, you might as well figure out which one is hotter in person.
1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com
