Jun
23
2009

Pride.

posted by Liam Reed at 7:43 pm.

  • Bookmark & Share
  • Comments (7)

I’m sure most of you are probably more interested in reading about what’s going on in Iran than in reading anything I have to say. After all, this is a revolution unlike anything people our age have ever really seen before, and to think that Twitter is one of the main weapons of choice. But, like it or not, Iran chose to have a revolution the same month as gay pride, so clearly they weren’t thinking things through and they should have waited until we had our giant parties and got drunk on floats with rainbow streamers first, this way we wouldn’t have to feel guilty about having a good time while there are people dying in the streets standing up for their rights. I know, they’re like, omg, totally selfish.

So, since gay pride is the topic, there are actually several smaller subtopics that I want to touch upon.

The first one is that of the parade itself. I know a lot of people have a problem with it because many see it as a way of putting all gay people into a single category: drunken guys with six packs and boas dancing on floats that advertise for businesses such as Miller Lite w/Lime and KY. I am actually pretty pro-parade because I see it as more of a celebration and not necessarily a means of gaining equal rights. Maybe I’ve just been out for too long to think of it as this big liberating experience, but in my mind it’s just a party celebrating sexuality. And I know a lot of people don’t like that, but in the last few years have you seen more groups of people who are coming out and showing actual gay pride or have you seen more companies and politicians advertising that they’re “down with the homo?”

The next topic I want to touch upon is these ever-increasing gay movies where “being gay” is the main subject of the movie. I finally gave in and watched Prayers for Bobby last night. I hated this movie. From the opening scene you know that the kid is going to commit suicide because his mom was mean and loved the Bible a bit too much, but then after he dies she comes around and regrets that it took her so long. I would say SPOILER! but like I said, this is all pretty obvious in the first 5 minutes, especially when coupled with the fact that it aired on Lifetime.

I don’t understand how so many gay kids my age LOVE this movie and why they have to watch it over and over again. It’s full of crappy acting and a plot that somehow manages to drag and be predictable every step of the way. I know it’s based on a true story, and I know it’s tragic that kids are killing themselves for this reason all the time, but this is a movie that is meant to convince moms who are on the fence regarding gays to just give in and love their gay children. Yes, these movies are important for people to see, but why do I have to suffer through them? I’d much rather go see The Final Destination and watch people die glorious deaths. Now that’s a good time.

The third thing I want to ask you fine people about is how you feel about being gay. I recently had a conversation with a gay friend in which he told me that if he had the choice he would rather be straight than gay. I suppose I understand this for like … a minute, but in the end I just feel insulted. I get that it would make having kids a lot easier. I also get that you don’t have to call up Granny Ihatethecoloredsandfags and tell her that you’re gay, but after that? What about all those relationships? The friends that you’ve made? The experiences you’ve had? Dancing to Lady GaGa and not feeling any shame about it?

I think the main problem I have with this is that a lot of the experiences I have had over the past 7 or 8 years have been because I have been gay. In high school, for instance, I ended up befriending a gay kid who ended up convincing me that I would never apply for studying abroad. If I didn’t hear that, I wouldn’t have gone for it to prove him wrong. I would never have learned German or met the wonderful families that I did. I would never have ended up studying in Austria and meeting some of the best and closest friends I have ever had. I know that my life would be filled with other things. Like maybe I would have taken a class on auto mechanics or gotten a girl pregnant, but I’m pretty satisfied with my life up to this point, and the past 7 years have been really awesome and I wouldn’t trade them in just so I could be straight. I am sure that a lot of you are happy to be straight and that’s great, but it’s just not for me.

OH! And the sex! Fuck, can you gay guys imagine being straight and never being fucked? Like, ever? I have met plenty of straight guys who are comfortable with many things, but being fucked (whether by a dildo, strap on, fingers, a dude’s dick, a highlighter, or whatever) is not usually something that they’re willing to try. So, hypothetically, if you were straight you would probably never get to experience the pleasures that is anal sex, at least not on the receiving end. How horrible is that? Pretty damn horrible.

wear green

I think what I am getting at is that I am going to live my life the way I see fit. I am gonna dance to Lady GaGa and I am going to have anal sex. I am going to party at a parade and I’m going to watch movies where a guy’s ass is sucked through a vacuum (that’s Final Destination, not porn). And when it comes to those gay movies, go ahead and write them, direct them, star in them, watch them, but please, don’t nag me to watch them with you.

And uh … make sure you catch up on something that actually matters. This Iran thing is kind of a big deal.

****

I just got a message on Facebook regarding the 4th of July Parade in CU:

I thought you might be interested in knowing that a few of us from the rally are putting together a LGBTA equality float in the Champaign County 4th of July Celebration parade.

Please subscribe to the Google Groups mailing list if you want to get involved in organizing, decoration and marching:
http://groups.google.com/group/marriageequality-illinois

Please subscribe to the Facebook event if you just want to cheer us on in the march:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=94043146143

Liam Reed: 1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com

Comments

Matt Hanson (Matt Hanson) says:
(Posted June 23rd, 2009 at 8:40 pm)

Good writing. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed my Google News Reader..

Matt Hanson

bad sean (bad sean) says:
(Posted June 24th, 2009 at 1:15 am)

yarrr make ye hyperlinks clickable.

I can understand wanting to be straight, having recently gotten over that. Being gay is a rather large burden. Thankfully I can see the benefits now.

Bryan Kieft (Bryan Kieft) says:
(Posted June 24th, 2009 at 8:36 am)

awesome blog as usual. I like your take on the pride parade. . though I need to actually see one someday. . maybe this year. :) Also I’m not sure if I’ve just missed them but I think gay movies are slightly easier to find than that there are actually more of them. There seem to be more. . straight movies with gay stuff in them at least.

as for Prayers for Bobby. . I just wasn’t going to watch it because it would be depressing. I did have some friends watch it and say how much they. . loved it? but mostly it seemed to stir up anti christian feelings and otherwise be depressing.

Lyndiddy (Lyndiddy) says:
(Posted June 24th, 2009 at 6:53 pm)

I had to watch Prayers for Bobby for work, otherwise I don’t think I would have. I don’t know why gays would ask other gays to watch it. What do we get out of it? It’s everyone else who’s supposed to watch and feel bad and accept us or whatever. hahaha. Not that I found any real problem with it besides your standard issue crappy lifetime acting.

I can kinda see where one might want to be straight…only because you would have to deal with less shit and the dating pool would be larger. Other than that I find there to be a lot of advantages to the rainbow side of life. Stereotypically innate sense of personal style, a lot of sexual expression and cunning wit, and yeah, that anal sex. It’s the most complicated social dynamic I’ve ever witnessed though. Mind numbing.

Pride is fun…what else is there to be said? Plus, while the huge, shirtless, man hunk fest is a huge part, there are still plenty of tame elements…like..ummm…the PFLAG section? I dunno…probably some other parts too.

Did Lihy talk to you about being on a float? I said why not. I don’t mind being objectified.

Liamz (Liamz) says:
(Posted June 24th, 2009 at 8:44 pm)

Yeah, she totally did but I don’t think I’ll be able to do it. It’s a bummer, but I’m sure you will be able to have enough fun with the guys in speedos without me.

And Sean, I’m sorry about the hyperlinks, but I’m pretty sure you should know how to copy and paste by now.

Brent (Brent) says:
(Posted June 25th, 2009 at 6:28 pm)

Prayers for Bobby was terrible. I don’t remember who convinced me to see it, but I don’t think it was any better than all the other Lifetime movies. I might be biased though because it was set in my hometown and was completely off!

I’m fine with being gay, but it took awhile for me to get to this point. I of course wouldn’t change that part of me, because I like who I am, and changing that would make me a different person. That kind of leads into the whole pride thing - I see it as more of a celebration of ourselves and being open with our sexuality. I don’t see it as much of a political thing any more, except that gigantic crowds and support could show people that 1) gays are everywhere and 2) other people support them.

Matt Mattingly (Matt Mattingly) says:
(Posted July 6th, 2009 at 1:50 am)

You covered some ground with this one, dude. I’ll address what I can now, I suppose.

The parade. I’ve only been to one Pride parade, in Chicago during the summer of 2007. It was a great time; I’d only been out for a few months, so it did have sort of that “liberation” feel to me to be able to hold my then-boyfriend’s hand walking down the street and actually feel like one of the more “normal” people there. I didn’t enjoy the massive crush of humanity that made it difficult to watch the parade, though I did enjoy the Croatian guys who allowed me to stand in an archway with them as they flirted with me in their accents and repeatedly felt me up. Had no issues there whatsoever. The only really endearing elements of the parade to me now is that it is, in fact, a time when you see a lot of ripple-bodied men gallivanting around with scarce clothing, and that’s always a good thing. And, as you’ve pointed out, it’s a celebration of sexuality, and it has been promising to me to see schools and community organizations realize the inherent value of their LGBT neighbors and want to support their self-expression.

As for Prayers for Bobby: I never watched the movie, and I refused to do so based on an article about the movie that appeared in The Advocate. I’d read the book, and upon reading the Advocate article, discovered that it was quite different from the book itself. Bobby wasn’t nearly so cute, innocent and sympathetic. He was, in reality, a tortured soul who hated the world that hated him, and sold his drug-addicted body to older men. This only contributed to his self-loathing, of course. I knew the LIFETIME would never do the actual story justice. Yet, I’ve had several friends (all of them gay) who watched the movie and wouldn’t stop talking about how wonderful it was and how it made them cry. Even if I watched it, I doubt I would’ve cried. I don’t cry at funerals, when people I have actually known shift forth from this mortal coil, and I’ve only cried during three movies (“The Fox and the Hound,” “The Lion King”—I was 12 or younger during both of these instances—and “United 93”) and I doubted that watching Prayers for Bobby would actually stimulate a significant emotional reaction because the book itself is so much more heartwrenching than any LIFETIME production could to justice. I’d write more, but I have to be at work in less than six hours, and it’s been a long and Maker’s Mark-dominated weekend, so thus I’m tired. Keep on rockin’ in a free world (although it’s quite expensive, no matter how “free” we claim it to be).

~MM

Add your comment