Gian Santos (Gian Santos) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 4:06 pm)

agreed. This is why I’ve never done it since entering college.

Anon (Anon) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 4:15 pm)

I must say that I agree with you. The silence that comes with the Day of Silence is most noticeable in high school. U of I students do have voices. What would you recommend to help us remember those who are silenced elsewhere?

Matt Mattingly (Matt Mattingly) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 4:16 pm)

I think you’re absolutely right. I did this once, two years ago, and not only did I find that it was rather ineffective, but I also had to observe two factions of the EIU Pride group bickering over WHERE TO SIT on the quad while they were supposedly being silent. Consider that in your mind. People committed to being silent an entire day…..screaming at each other in the middle of the quad about where to sit in the quad while they were being silent. As you pointed out, there are far more meaningful methods to make clear who you are and better venues in which to engage in them.

Kevin (Kevin) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 4:28 pm)

No disagreements here, though I will say that the DoS is cool in that you see more ally participation with this event than you tend to with others.

What if we just had a Day of Noise? It could be like a gay Unofficial…

Ari (Ari) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 4:46 pm)

While I agree with you that DoS has less of an effect at post-secondary institutions generally, I am still convinced that it is worth doing.

The sole reason that I think it’s worth doing is to let those kids in high school, who will one day be college students (hopefully), know that they aren’t alone out there. This started as something at colleges and only then spread to high schools. If there’s even a chance that one kid in high school will take strength from the fact that there are hundreds, thousands, or even just one person at his dream college doing it, then it’s worth doing.

I went to a high school where not only did I never have a chance to even hear about DoS, but where if I had known what it is, and tried to do it, I would have risked expulsion. Would I have had the balls to do it if I knew there were people out there who had my back? Maybe, I don’t know. But the high school kids look up to people in college, and setting the example and giving them the courage to take it to their high schools makes it a cause worth undertaking.

Phil (Phil) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 4:52 pm)

I’ll go ahead and be the first disagreement, which of course will earn me a shunning, but I’m going to take it like a true G. I will also contradict myself right here: You’re right: The day of Silence TODAY has a very diluted effect HERE than at other places and times. I think, however, its flawed to say that because here at the UofI in 2009 it really goes without affecting much, that the whole concept is a wash. Let’s go back to your high school example. In much of the country, LGBT high schoolers and their allies still struggle with acceptance in their schools and communities. This should go without saying, but it needs to be pointed out so that I can say that The Day of Silence can have a PROFOUND affect there–and we know it does because of the various law-suits that end up accompanying DOS on the high school level every year. Previously silenced groups of students are suddenly being heard LOUD AND CLEAR, and in most cases, they do shift the paradigms in their communities a tad at a time. There is also the fact that at one time the DOS WAS a big deal at the UofI and DID make headlines. I can’t vouch for this town, but where I did my undergrad, about 6000 years ago, when we staged the DOS–and it was a fairly coordinated and publicized effort, and did predate the texting/twittering days–it caused a lot of conversations to happen at break-the-silence time–often involving press coverage. Doing that every year helped shift the paradigm there little by little until now the gays practically own the place.

Participating in the DOS HERE where, quite frankly, we’re in a pretty safe bubble–lets be real–has a two-fold benefit:

1. We are standing in solidarity with those who still have a long way to go to catch up to us. Of course to STAND in solidarity, we’re going to have to ACTUALLY BE SILENT when we participate, and I agree that that means putting away the cells and the constant facebook status updates.

2. We are remembering how far we’ve come, and showing our determination to never go back and return to silence and shame.

I don’t fault anyone for NOT participating in DOS. Frankly, I’ll be teaching, and I’ll be talking all day long. However, I also support the DOS and support those participating–as long as you’re not twittering your every thought and whim rather than speaking them as you would normally.

That “Tweet the Silence” thing is a gem there. Is that FROM GLSEN? Yikes.

As always, very poignant, Mr. Reed.

Kristofer Wilhelmsen (Kristofer Wilhelmsen) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 4:56 pm)

Hmm. The Day of Silence I believe has “lost it’s luster” or whatever luster it had when it originated. As being the one who came up with the idea to do a silent protest on the quad At EIU 3 years ago it was a Success in that people noticed, people asked and were handed flyers, and we even made the front page of the EIU den newspaper. Regardless the case we had 4, 4 people out on our quad 2 gay boys, 2 lesbians. And a dog. And we got noticed, we were “heard”. Being heard there I believe was big because we were usually unheard of or not known. The closest thing to a GLBT class was womens studies.. i mean come on.
To say the least The day of silence is not what it was I agree with you on nearly everything.. but It does seem structured around High Schools as the website seems to point at… IT seems they need a College initiative and a way(s) to make it known at smaller, mid sized, and large schools.

Mattie S (Mattie S) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 4:57 pm)

Day of Silence is stupid. (sorry if you like it)

I have as much of a voice as anyone else in this country and I am gay. I have never experienced being hushed when talking about gay things or not been allowed to speak my mind on certain issues.

While people say that gays don’t get to speak their minds on things such as the issue of gay marriage, I see it as we can say whatever the hell we want to, but that doesn’t mean people are going to agree with us just because we said it.

Gays in this nation have the most rights they have ever had and I am very grateful for that. As for the Day of Silence, its not my cup of tea.

(Also, I go to the University of Michigan, so everyone here is gay..)

Ari (Ari) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 5:12 pm)

Mattie:

I’m about the farthest thing from a gay activist as you’ll find, but:

I’m going to respectfully submit that you misinterpret the point of the DoS. It’s not about being hushed when trying to speak of “gay things” or “gay marriage.” It’s not about legal or political rights.

What it is about is kids who cannot be themselves, for fear of negative repercussions, up to and including death. Kids who are silenced not in political discourse (straight people debate gay marriage by themselves all the time), but in life generally. Kids who have no voice because they have nobody to reach out to, who live in darkness and fear on a daily basis because if anyone found out about their sexual orientation, their lives as far as are concerned would be over.

You may have never been silenced in that fashion, and you are extremely fortunate. I have been. This is not about whether or not we can marry or adopt kids. This is about how there are children who fear that there are people who will treat them without basic human decency, and who fear for their lives, both literally and figuratively, on a daily basis.

Emilie (Emilie) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 5:37 pm)

Couldn’t have said it better myself. And I fucking hate twitter.

Matt Mattingly (Matt Mattingly) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 6:16 pm)

I actually remember the EIU DoS that Kris is talking about. I wasn’t out yet (a late bloomer that didn’t come out until age 21), but I remember playing with the dog (I think more of a puppy at the time). It was the first I’d heard of the Day of Silence. It was also the last time I thought it was going to accomplish anything.

good sean (good sean) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 6:27 pm)

Not everyone is in big lectures all day, and not everyone knows about the LGBT resources on campus. Last year, I would have been naive enough to estimate the number of out gay people on campus to be 10 (after all i walked past some sort of gay rally thing and saw only 5 people). As far as I know Im the only gay representation that gets into some of my circles.

I really wasn’t planning on doing anything for DoS, but reading this reminded me how much I wish I would have known someone here who would have done it.

Nate (Nate) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 7:43 pm)

I think if anyone should be silent, it should be the bigots, and the gays (and their allies) should shout from the rooftops with the voices of their brothers and sisters who have been silenced by fear or death. Silence can be powerful if enough people are willing to participate, but I don’t think enough people participate.

Tommers (Tommers) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 8:15 pm)

Agreed. It’s effective in many high schools or maybe at small/ultra-conservative colleges, but doesn’t really make sense for a medium or large school or one with a significant gay presence.

Emily (Emily) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 8:24 pm)

Agreed to everything. I never had DOS at my high school but I don’t think it had been working. And agreed with hating Twitter. Its stupid

'Benji' ('Benji') says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 9:53 pm)

I completely agree on the point that this isn’t solely about social or political issues, and that it’s really about the silence that some individual gay younglings are forced into every day, sometimes for their entire pre-college lives. However, do you really posit that a tacet mimicry of that unfairness is the best way to fight it?

I like the point that someone made about not being listened to, even when we DO speak out. I feel like the best way to help those kids that don’t have the freedom and safety of college (or the occasional liberal high school) is to focus on that issue, and speak out against it. What we need is not a “Day of Silence”, but a Day of “Cut the crap and talk about what’s important.”

Ari (Ari) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 10:18 pm)

Benji:

Not necessarily the best way, but it’s an established way. And I think it might be worth perpetuating a less than ideal tactic rather than abandon it in hopes of switching tactics, thus risking leaving youths out there with that same feeling of hopelessness and abandonment.

If someone can get a legitimate ball rolling on a better idea, I’m all for it, But I’m not willing to replace something, no matter how imperfect, with nothing. The risks are too high.

'Benji' ('Benji') says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 11:18 pm)

Ari:

Are you saying that if we stop celebrating DoS, these high schoolers will feel like we’re abandoning them? I’m aware that this may be an incredibly obvious point, but I just want to make sure I’m fighting the right idea here.

I’m not advocating a removal of support; what I’m saying is that we need to be more outspoken against said injustices. This way, it would make it even more apparent to them that we care, and that they’re not alone or abandoned. I’m not saying replace it with nothing, but rather, replace it with a more effective form of support: being more, not less, outspoken against it.

I think we’re fighting the same side, even if it doesn’t appear so. I agree that closeted middle, junior, and high schoolers are a demographic that desperately needs our help. I approve wholeheartedly that DoS in those schools can benefit kids that feel like they have no one. But I’m saying that silence can only go so far, and we can make it our support stronger by speaking instead.

Switching tactics can always be risky, but if our current situation is, in fact, a “less than ideal tactic”, how can we justify never even attempting to fix it?

'Benji' ('Benji') says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 11:19 pm)

*And sorry for the typos.

Haley P (Haley P) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 11:37 pm)

I understand that you feel the day of silence is not effective in the atmosphere of the U of I. I just told my roomie today (prior to reading this) that I plan to participate for the first time. I myself am hetero and wonder, what the heck have I done for the gay community? One that so many of my friends belong to… A bunch of nada, that’s what. I think that the day of silence is not only a well-known tradition, but I believe, form personal experience, it is a very accessible demonstration. While demonstrations are created to well…demonstrate a point to others, I also think that it helps a cause or community to unite. You can accomplish this, arguably more effectively, without the “noise”. With the day of silence being so easy to join and actually do, people are going to be more apt to do it and subsequently forced to think about it throughout the day. Plus people talk about it, the day before the day after, in class, on the phone with their mom, via a discrete card the day of, whenever, where ever, how ever. In my opinion the day of silence has become an excellent opportunity to expand this circle beyond the members of all those lovely groups you mentioned above and invites uninvolved people like me. People who feel strongly about the issue and do little within our U of I community. And what is so bad about that?

I could talk to you about it more Liam, I like your view point I do. Just not Friday…I’ll be silent much love.

Manny (Manny) says:
(Posted April 14th, 2009 at 11:38 pm)

Couldnt agree more……………..well kinda…. lol

Duste (Duste) says:
(Posted April 15th, 2009 at 11:09 am)

I agree 100%. I always find it funny that we have a “Day of..” something. To me that just completely undermines the entire thing. Why should it just be one day? By giving in and allowing it to be one day, you’re satisfying the norm and letting them know that on all days but this one we will allow you to oppress us. It’s pointless.

I’ve tried to argue this point several times and people always get so pissy about it. I’m glad some other people share my vision.

Plus, I don’t think people understand that by being silent, you aren’t being silent. You’re communicating a message either way. So, communicate this message EVERYDAY, not just once a year.

Mike (Mike) says:
(Posted April 15th, 2009 at 12:58 pm)

Many valid points on both sides of the issue.

As someone who has participated in DoS on multiple occasions, I think one of the most important things “Day of..”s do is bring people together. While we should be living ‘out loud’ daily, by working together to make a common point on one particular day, many of us within the community - and those on the fringes who don’t know to whom to turn - have an opportunity express our dissatisfaction with the way things are in the world, and support those who have less freedoms than we do here. Additionally, DoS gives those folks who know nothing about the gay community here on campus some idea that we do exist and provides opportunities to meet other folks (or find orgs like the Office) who have similar experiences.

I know from walking around campus wearing a tombstone that we ARE noticed on campus. Many people stop to read what I have donned, and thus at least recognize that “we’re here, we’re queer, and we’re not afraid to show it”. Additionally, historically this event has been one of the few to get decent media coverage - especially when we have brought in outside speakers for the rally.

So while I agree with the many of comments above, we need these events to help bring us together as a community. Think of it as our CU Pride Parade with a political purpose

Be Rad 007 (Be Rad 007) says:
(Posted April 15th, 2009 at 9:37 pm)

Here is rationale for why it hasn’t worked AND why we need to keep doing it:

http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/news/record/2400.html

Liamz (Liamz) says:
(Posted April 15th, 2009 at 9:50 pm)

I understand why that would be reason to do it in high school (to end hateful language) but it does not convince me that this is what we should be doing at the collegiate level. What’s interesting is that the kid didn’t identify as gay, so there are two possibilities here:

1) He was so hurt and ashamed of being called names like “fag” that he killed himself

2) He was hurt and ashamed because deep down he WAS gay and he knew that people would continue hating him because of it

I see this as an article that should be addressing the issue of hate speech but twisted it for, yes, the gay agenda. Yes, hateful speech should be eliminated from high schools. How is performing the DoS at the U of I going to do this? Why not actually send students to SPEAK at high schools, especially rural schools (where gay kids are more likely to feel alone than urban schools)?

I like a lot of the reasons people have been giving for continuing to take part in DoS, especially the one from Good Sean saying “I wish I would have known someone here who would have done it.”

I’m still going to be speaking this Friday, but maybe next year we can find a way to travel out to some high schools and actually speak. That would be bitchin’.

Lyndiddy (Lyndiddy) says:
(Posted April 15th, 2009 at 11:06 pm)

The Day of Silence isn’t about going out and telling people that there are hate crimes and that words can hurt people. It’s a show of solidarity for our community and the people who support us. The silence is in honor of those who are silent now, were ever silent before, or were silenced ultimately. That it sends a message to those who aren’t participating is incidental.

If you think a message needs to be spoken then don’t dishonor the symbolism the rest of us are taking. Events like National Coming Out Day try to give a voice to those who are afraid to come out. In fact, this year the theme was “Talk About It”. I say, don’t wait until next DOS to go speak. The time to speak out is every other day! Give us this one to reflect and remember how important it is to shout louder than ever on the other 364.

Liamz (Liamz) says:
(Posted April 15th, 2009 at 11:44 pm)

Well, according to dayofsilence.org, that IS what it’s about:

“The National Day of Silence brings attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. Each year the event has grown, now with hundreds of thousands of students coming together to encourage schools and classmates to address the problem of anti-LGBT behavior.”

I understand where you’re coming from, though. And Lyndiddy, I was by no means intending to “dishonor the symbolism,” but rather calling into question whether this symbolism has any effect on students at the collegiate level. I have received answers from people on both sides, and I see that there are some people who agree that it doesn’t do much at this level, while others find it necessary and do not want to get rid of it.

There are several other things your comment calls into question, but they’re more for discussion over a drink rather than an online forum.

Nate (Nate) says:
(Posted April 16th, 2009 at 12:51 am)

Look at this nonsense I just saw:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9d38EoQ9pg&feature=player_embedded

Haley (Haley) says:
(Posted April 16th, 2009 at 5:29 pm)

I agree with Lyndon. I had never heard of the dos in high school, although i guess it did take place. I found out about it on the dos of my freshman year. i know about it entirely from walking through the quad. the freaking quad. it works, it sends a messages, and it makes people with at least four brain cells think for a second. I like the message.

Brent (Brent) says:
(Posted April 18th, 2009 at 2:31 am)

Do people really notice if some people are silent? Yes, maybe people close to them, but in general, will an entire day of silence really draw attention? It seems completely counter-intuitive to me. While this isn’t exactly analogous - protesting by NOT doing something seems ineffective to me.

Silent demonstrations or protests have the potential to be very effective, if enough people can congregate in a very public place. A huge crowd of people that is silent could have a great effect, however I’m not sure what individual silence for an entire day will accomplish.