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The Frat Boy Diaries: Peter

posted by Liam Reed at 7:53 am.

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Our next guest is Peter, a former U of I student who graduated with a degree in English. Like our friend Parker, Peter was fairly talkative so we’ll go with a Q&A format again. And as a quick note, the guys got to choose their own aliases, so the whole Peter Parker thing was definitely not my own doing, but god damn do I find it hilarious.

W.T. Can you tell me about your experience when you rushed?

Peter: Coming from out of state I knew nobody, my roommate and I both rushed freshman year. I was looking for a home away from home and was in leadership positions in HS and wanted to do something similar. I wasn’t out when I rushed.
I’m fairly butch so it’s not immediately obvious that I’m gay. I have to make mention of it. Both of the houses I was given bids by had gays in their ranks but I chose the house I thought I would thrive in.

W.T.: When you rushed you weren’t out. Is there a reason for that?

Peter: I wasn’t out to my roommate. He was quite closed-minded.

W.T.: So it was more of keeping your dorm situation in check rather than hiding it from the frat.

Peter: Correct. In November I came out to my pledge brothers.

W.T.: How’d that work out?

Peter: Fine, never any criticism to my face or behind my back that I know of. I would say that I’m a natural leader and charismatic so that helped my situation.

W.T.: So after just 2 or 3 months you were already out?

Peter: Yea, and when drunk, I told a female friend of one of the actives so they all knew I was gay before I initiated.

W.T.: Would you say there are certain frats where it isn’t safe to be out?

Peter: Yes, definitely. Well as a guest I don’t think a gay guy has anything to worry about at any frat on campus. I definitely think in some frats it’d be very difficult to be out. I’ve had acquaintances who are in other frats who told me it simply wasn’t a possibility

W.T.: So you know some other gay guys who were in the closet, then?

Peter: Yes, Craigslist is wonderful.

W.T.: Can you tell me about any hookups you’ve had with in the closet frat guys? How they went down, etc.

Peter: Well one time on Craigslist I ended up finding a guy who lived in the frat across the street from mine. He wasn’t out at all. We arranged that he would come over once everybody in my house was in their room so I could sneak him up the side stairs.

W.T.: Why couldn’t you guys just lie and say something like, “We’re gonna go get high?”

Peter: Most closet frat boys are really paranoid. Since I was out he didn’t want them to automatically know that I was taking him upstairs to fuck him. I didn’t make all my sexual activities known, but my closest brothers and I had a contest my last year living in the house seeing who could get the most. I really didn’t have to hide anything and there were frat boys and GDIs who liked to be paraded past people hanging out while taking them upstairs.

W.T.: GDIs?

Peter: God damn independents.

W.T.: After these hookups you just went back to normal life? Or did any of them ever turn into friendships or anything?

Peter: Some of them did. I have a strong personality, so either there’s chemistry beyond the fuck or there isn’t.

W.T.: So why were you out?

Peter: Well I realized at the start of puberty I was gay. I was in the closet all through high school and I was too nervous to “hook up.” No guys I was interested in in my high school so when I decided to go to school out of state I felt that I should take the opportunity to be me. Since I had no ties from high school to hold me or to worry about. I’m not one of those “bi” or “curious” guys. I’ve never have been with a woman past making out.

W.T.: So you define yourself as gay? Or do you not believe in labels either? That tends to be a common theme with you guys.

Peter: Yes. Gay. And yea I know, its because they’re afraid of everything that “gay” means. But I like to buck the trend. Lots of straight guys have said “Wow, you’re definitely not what I think of, when I hear ‘gay.’” There is one of those “don’t believe in labels” guys who is active in my frat now and he is a total mess.

W.T.: Would you say there were differences between in the closet frat guys vs. out frat guys?

Peter: No there definitely is a difference. He clung to me from the start. He would get drunk and cry to me, tell me he wishes he could be like me. There are lots of self image issues and trying to be hetero-normative. When he saw that to any outsider I was “straight” but able to be confident in my identity and not ashamed to bring my bf to a party I think he realized that hiding it and putting on a straight facade was not going to be fun.

W.T.: Do you think that if more gay guys were out in frats, that anyone would benefit?

Peter: Well I think if the guys don’t fit homosexual stereotypes and they are out there is a benefit to all. I don’t think frats need to go out and recruit flamboyant gays though. I guess you also have to consider that there are guys who have sex with guys, but aren’t and will never identify as gay or even be in a relationship with a guy.

W.T.: What advice would you give to the guys who are in the closet in frats?

Peter: Don’t put on anymore of a show if necessary and don’t participate in homo bashing. Eventually the way you talk about others will start to affect how you feel about yourself.

W.T.: Who would you recommend frat life for?

Peter: I think that the U of I provides a fraternity that can positively affect anybody’s time on campus and it’s up to the guy to know what is good for him. And to also know which fraternities would be bad for mental well being. There’s something for everybody; I mean to say. Also, instead of looking for a fraternity that can become your identity you should find one that compliments your identity. The transition after college for the super-closeted can be very difficult and nobody wants to end up married to a woman fucking men in the bathhouse.

W.T.: Would you say that frats get a bad rep when it comes to things like sexuality?

Peter: To some extent, though some of it is deserved. I think if anything, my promiscuity was judged more by gays. There were guys in my house genuinely jealous of the ease with which I was able to arrange what I wanted. The competition of who would get more action was won by me. One of my closest brothers once even asked me to find a guy to come over and blow us both, since he couldn’t get a girl over. He was of course absolutely shit-faced drunk.

W.T.: Did you do it?

Peter: Yes. Hot experience. We never talked about it after. It’s not like I sucked his dick, though I would have. Because he is my brother, I arranged what he asked for and didn’t hold it over his head after or tell anybody else.

W.T.: That’s almost adorable.

And that, gentlemen, concluded the conversation. There’s only one more after this one, so hopefully you’ve been able to take something away from these.

Liam Reed: 1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com