Dear People Who Read This Blog Even Though I Haven’t Updated Since Finals,

I wrote you a Christmas poem. It is also my birthday today, so the fact that I am taking MY PRECIOUS TIME to write you this poem means I love you very much.

Christmas is a time for capitalism
Be thankful that we are buying each other Rock Band and not the last can of peas because the economic depression isn’t THAT depressed just yet
I don’t like peas anyway
But I do like Rock Band
Fuck
Why didn’t anyone buy me Rock Band
Instead I got lots of books and movies
They are all really cool
One is called Love by Sacher-Masoch
It will be hot
And old
But hot.
Hence the Mascoh(ism).
I hate poetry
I figure writing random stream-of-consciousness lines will resemble poetry.
Because poetry is gay.
Which is why I am writing it to you.

Merry Christmas. Bless your family with God and Jesus and Kwanzaa.

Love,

W.T.

The day you have all been waiting for (or undoubtedly forgot about) is finally here: Day Without A Gay! Yes, in an ongoing effort to fight against California’s decision on Prop 8, gays around the nation are not showing up to work or classes tomorrow and will instead be donating their time by volunteering for local LGBT groups. December 10 is Human Rights Day, and tomorrow marks the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

In a quick little aside, it’s important to mention that the United Nations General Assembly is meeting tomorrow and will be discussing whether or not to globally decriminalize homosexuality. I just heard about this from a friend of mine today and don’t know much about it, so instead of just plagiarizing someone’s information I highly suggest you check out this article. If you don’t, the absolute basics are that this will be the first LGBT issue the UN General Assembly has ever discussed, 86 countries today still ban male homosexuality, and the Vatican is fighting against the UN on this one. A real shocker, that one. Read the article. It’s interesting.

An empty art exhibit. My god! Where have all the gays gone?!

Now, as I mentioned in a previous post, the idea behind Day Without A Gay is a bit controversial. The point, of course, is to show that gays exist everywhere and are very essential for every day life. We are your government workers, postal service employees, baristas, construction workers, police men, firefighters, actors, musicians, garbage men, doctors, lawyers, real estate agents, engineers, translators, pilots, etc. etc. etc. By not showing up to work, people are supposed to realize, “Oh, they’re human too. They have a job just like I do and do more than just wear glitter and prance around fields all day.”

The problem with this is that many people will either not notice or not care. When students don’t show up to class, they’ll probably just be thought of as stupid for skipping out on a final exam or lying at home sick. The people who actually call in “gay” and can’t show up to work probably have an employer who already knows and supports LGBT issues, and therefore the employer is less on employee and nothing is gained. The gay guy is just a jerk for putting all his or her work on everybody else.

An empty theater… What the hell is going on?!

Personally, instead of skipping out on classes and my Human Nutrition exam, I’ll go to class and just wear some of my pride clothing. Somehow over my two and a half years on this campus I have acquired tee shirts for everything from the Day of Silence to Equal Marriage Illinois (which is the shirt I’ll be wearing tomorrow). If you check out their website there is a section on six ways you can help fight for equal marriage rights in Illinois, which is one of those things that can be considered “volunteering,” even if it’s as simply as writing your state representative. I highly recommend checking them out.

In my humble opinion, I think it’s more important to actually show up to work or school and just make your presence as an LGBT person or ally known instead of just disappearing for a day. Whether you choose to call in gay or to show up to class with a rainbow painted across your face, or you choose to do nothing at all, at least make sure you’re keepin’ it real. Good luck on your exams, yo.

I’m a really big fan of tattoos and piercings but I do not meet many gay guys who actually have tattoos. It seems most guys in CU are blank canvases when it comes to their bodies and I guess I can understand that to some degree. They cannot decide on what they want or they think they’re ugly or sinful or too damn expensive. I really like tattoos because it shows that a guy can really commit to something, and in this case it’s a piece of art. Also impressive is that they can tolerate what is potentially a shitload of pain in order to get this art.

I have two tattoos, one of a compass that I got at Chicago Tattoo. and the other is a replica, so to speak, of painting by my favorite Viennese modernist artist, Egon Schiele. I was weary of getting that one in town but after checking out their shop and some portfolios I felt confident that No Regrets could get the job done. Personally I think my artist did a fantastic job. If you have some artwork that you would like to show off, hit me up with an email at withtongue@gmail.com. I think it’d be pretty sweet to post some pics of what gay guys and gals are tatting on their bodies. Straighties are cool too, but personally I think it’d be interesting if there were some sort of bizarre pattern that can be found in gay CU tattoos. Like unicorns or skulls that are bleeding out of their eye sockets. Also, if you have any tattoo or piercing stories you want to share, you should add them as a comment to the blog.

I’m having trouble with HTML and WordPress right now, but I hope to fix this up soon. The following pic is of my first tat when I got it a year ago, and the second one is my latest tat: Egon Schiele’s Sunflower.

I also have two piercings, a conch piercing in my left ear and an industrial in my right. People always ask if the industrial hurt and barely notice the conch, if they notice it at all. The industrial didn’t hurt as much as the conch, it just took a long time to heal. I really like piercings and they also seem to be a rarity around here, except for helix piercings. Those seem to actually be the piercings on guys that double as a form of gaydar in this town. It’s not that they’re “gay,” it’s that more often than not when a gay guy in CU has a piercing, it’s a helix piercing.

When I was in Vienna I (sort of) dated this really hot guy who had both a tattoo on his forearm and a nipple piercing. Nipple piercings can apparently be very sensitive and if I just barely grazed it he would go into a frenzy. Naturally when we ended things and became great friends I used this as a tool to annoy him. Not having done anything to my body for a month now, I was considering getting a nipple piercing of my own. If it could raise his sexual arousal from nothing to extremely turned on in a matter of seconds, why shouldn’t I get one too? However, when I ask people what their thoughts are they range from anywhere between, “Don’t, it’s slutty,” to “Oh god no. Please no” to “well I think it would be hot if you didn’t wear clothes but if you wear a shirt it will look like a double nipple.”

I will probably end up getting the piercing, just not now. Maybe sometime after New Year’s. I really shouldn’t be spending money on things that will turn me on right now anyway. I should be buying sweaters.

A few months back a friend of mine got a frenum piercing, aka the underside of the shaft of the penis. He’s miles away right now, so conversing with him on AIM I caught up on how his dick was doing these days.

Blake(9:38:21 PM): it is doing well though I think my body might be slowly rejecting it
Blake(9:39:09 PM): people look at it and freak out. think it must have hurt alot
Blake(9:39:22 PM): in truth it was the easiest piercing I have had
Blake(9:39:30 PM): least amount of care or pain
Blake(9:39:33 PM): and healed quickly
Blake(9:39:47 PM): I always wonder what people think if they see it at the gym
Blake(9:40:03 PM): but I don’t go walking around naked so I don’t think many have seen it
Blake(9:41:15 PM): I think eventually I will probably go for the PA but not yet

A PA, of course, is the infamous Prince Albert, a piercing that goes through the frenulum and into the urethra. Apparently they heal rather quickly and have been around for quite some time, but really became popular in the 1970s. Surprise surprise.

Blake being my only source of information when it comes to this topic, I had to ask him as much as possible. Of course what I was most curious about was sex and condom usage.

Blake(10:31:37 PM): I like the way it feels most of the time. sometimes it hurts a little but usually it is the good kind of hurt
Blake(10:31:48 PM): makes a condom very hard to use
With Tongue(10:31:57 PM): the good kind of hurt?
Blake(10:32:15 PM): I can’t really explain it but I think you know what I mean
Blake(10:33:06 PM): I have only had sex as a top once since I got it
Blake(10:33:13 PM): and he liked it
Blake(10:33:41 PM): I think I would have liked it better with a better fit condom and not quite such a tight guy
Blake(10:33:59 PM): he didn’t say to much about it
Blake(10:34:14 PM): people seem to like playing with it with their tongue

And then of course, there was the price tag. While the piercer didn’t have a problem doing the genitalia piercing, it cost our buddy Blake 100 bucks to get the job done in the first place. I asked Blake if he regretted the frenum piercing or if it was worth it, he said while he enjoys the piercing he wishes he would have just gone for the Prince Albert.

Blake(10:43:58 PM): the worst part I think is going in to ask for the thing
Blake(10:44:31 PM): and the idea of doing it twice is kinda unexciting
Blake(10:45:00 PM): other than that I would say go for it
Blake(10:45:07 PM): it is a unique thing

**

I really love piercings and tattoos. Tattoos show commitment, and both piercings and tats show a tolerance for pain in order to attain a greater beauty. And dude, that’s totally hot.

Dearest People Who Like to Know About Gay Things or Happen to Know About Gay Things Themselves,

It is that time of year again where the217.com is looking for new bloggers. You’ve probably noticed that With Tongue is the only actual blog under the LGBT section of the site, with other articles being contributed from the Buzz. Now, I’m sure there must be some of you out there who think I do a shitty job at this, that I either stereotype or I make outrageous claims that are simply out of control. This is your chance. Become a blogger for the217, specifically under the LGBT section. We need you to show that there’s more to LGBT on the U of I campus than what I have been writing about.

If you’re interested, hit up my main lady friend Elle and pitch your column idea to her. She can be reached at: producer@the217.com.

Something tells me you get bonus points if you’re lesbianic

Today is December 1st: World AIDS Day. My friend called me in celebration telling me he slept with three people this week (the one that happened an hour ago was 200 pounds of pure muscle) and every time he had used a condom. He’s scheduling his HIV/AIDS test tomorrow. Meanwhile my idea of safe sex is pining after this guy 345 miles away. Womp womp. Different strokes for different folks, right? However you’re having sex, whether it be in a bed with your wife of 20 years or on the Quad (apparently a popular choice according to the Buzz) with some random guy you met online, remember to keep it safe, yo.