I stayed in CU til around 6 PM today when I left for home. The suburbs of Chicago were calling my name. They tend to do that around Thanksgiving. By the time I was nearing Sauk Trail on I57 I got a phone call from my mom asking where if I hit the road yet. She was happy to hear that I would be home within minutes and that steak would be ready for me when I got home.
STEAK.
REAL MEAT.
For the last few days I have been eating these Healthy Choice Steamer things that you microwave for 4 minutes at a time. They’re delicious but in terms of meat there’s usually only one or two pieces that amount to about the size of a chicken nugget. That is not several steaks piled on top of each other like pancakes.
STEAK STACKED LIKE MOTHER FUCKING PANCAKES.
Needless to say I was pleased. However, a few moments ago I read Craigslist. As opposed to several other news sources in CU, Craigslist tends to have the best gossip column. Now, the reason I was in CU so long was because I had to work through this evening at the cafe. Last night I had gone to Home Depot not only to finish painting my room (check YouTube for exciting documented footage) and pick up a few supplies for the cafe, namely nails and this weird sticky felty tape object that you can find in the paint section. By morning three of my colleagues/friends/baristasauruses had beautified the men’s bathroom with some awesome LPs and album covers. One included a purple puppet from Sesame Street who happens to know a lot about Africa.
Then, today, after I got back from break, I realized something interesting about the Barry Manilow album cover. No, I wasn’t shocked by Barry’s charming smile and devil may care attitude, no, I noticed the word “FAG!” scribbled next to his face. I could have been offended that they wrote this word, but I really don’t care about the word itself. Maybe I should and I know that a lot of people do, but it’s not something that makes me want to pillage or anything like that. I was just pissed that after all the work my friends put in to making the place you piss a somewhat decent place, someone decided to graffiti it 12 hours after it had been put up! The fact that they used the word “fag” means I can blog about it and make it seem like some sort of hate crime.
The FAG! Himself
I doubt that it was a hate crime. In fact, I probably made this guy his coffee. That’s the way things tend to turn out, right? The best part is the great lengths this guy went to write it next to Barry Manilow. Barry is hanging at the very top of the wall above the urinal, which means this guy had to lean well into the urinal to do this or he had to drag the chair over in order to accomplish his poetic goal. But why is this so hilarious? Because at eye-level we had a WHAM! album cover which remained perfectly clean. Barry Manilow is a fag, but those WHAM! guys … they’re alright with this guy. They’re cool. Hip.
My friends took down the decorations today. My one contribution, the nails, they rest in the dumpster right near a Jimmy Johns and an over-priced apartment complex.
It just kinda sucks that customers even at this extremely liberal cafe are willing to trash art for …. well I really don’t know. What would inspire anyone to write that on the art itself? I mean why not just write it on a post-it note or something? Or leave an index card with your suggestion that we inform everyone of Barry Manilow’s fagginess somewhere for us to find. We will do our best to let everyone know.
I think I’m gonna start walking around campus with the word FAG painted on my forehead. Or at least my tshirt. I’m not going to do it for any other reason than wanting the attention and a cheap laugh. At least it won’t be done anonymously, right? If there’s anything that upsets me it’s when people voice their opinions but aren’t confident enough in them to tell you who they really are.
But once again, this is much more of a rant than a blog. I’ll add some pics to give you that blog-y feeling and in the meantime, enjoy your friends and family.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Liam Reed: 1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com
Comments
The Shy Gay Guy (The Shy Gay Guy) says:
(Posted November 29th, 2008 at 4:00 am)
Didn’t you know? The Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory (Google it) applies to bathroom graffiti also.
anon (anon) says:
(Posted November 29th, 2008 at 2:10 pm)
And it makes bathroom graffiti that much better an artistic medium to express oneself without hindrance.
anon2 (anon2) says:
(Posted December 2nd, 2008 at 2:54 am)
Apparently, someone appreciated the new decorations:
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Liam Reed
1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com
Ari (Ari) says:
(Posted November 26th, 2008 at 3:01 am)
First off, don’t ever bash Wham!.
Second, Barry Manilow sucks. Alot. In fact, it was in the news recently that a judge was punishing teenagers who got noise ordinance violations by making them listen to Barry Manilow for an hour or two. Upon hearing this, I suggested that such a punishment might violate several constitutional provisions, among them the prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment, and the lesser known “right not to have to listen to Barry Manilow” (I believe it to be a universal right implicit in the concept of ordered liberty).
Also, he’s a fag. Huge fag. (Just kidding. Mostly)