This is a new “section” of my blog I am creating called The Office: Followed By Some Other Title. The Office will be devoted to the goings-on of the LGBT office located on the third floor of the union. Today’s episode is devoted to explaining what the office is, and since I don’t actually work for them, it’s likely that I’ll say something incorrect. If that’s the case, I apologize.
I was in The Office (I’m telling you, capitalization is necessary) the other day with one of my best buddies. First we were discussing the film we were watching: Mulan. Mulan is a great film because it tells the story of a young Chinese woman who not only saves China from the Hun, but she does it all in drag. A fine lesson from this movie that it is totally acceptable to fall in love with a comrade of the same sex on the battlefield provided you find out he was actually a she all along. Conversation then turned to the fact that aside from the new princess movie (Frog Princess, set in New Orleans) coming out, there is only one other black character in a Disney animated movie, and that guy happened to be in Atlantis, aka a movie no one saw. Naturally conversation moved on to our whorish sex lives.
It was at this moment that a guy in a Sox tee sitting on a bench outside the office (waiting for legal services from the office next door, apparently) decided to interrupt. He wanted to know what service the office provided, or if it indeed offered any services at all. From his vantage point, all he saw were two guys sitting in front of a rainbow flag talking about finger fucking, and unless the office provided the finger fucking in question, why does it need to exist?
We tried explaining that the office serves first as a safe place, a place where queers could feel comfortable being queer. I told him about a time walking in Champaign with my boyfriend and someone shouted “fag!” and whipped a beer bottle at his head. Does this guy not read the paper? Or just not pay attention in general? Last semester a kid was on Green St. when he was attacked for being gay and ended up in the hospital. While we have a fairly liberal campus, we’re not exactly in San Francisco just yet.
Aside from that, The Office sponsors such events as the weekly coffee house at the etc. café in Urbana on Tuesday nights and the upcoming cookout in Illini Grove, that little niche of woods near CRCE. That’s happening this Friday the 29th between 5 and 9 PM, by the by.
“So basically it’s an office for socializing?”
I could see his point. Basically events like the cookout are used for meeting other people who are gay, lesbian, bi, trans, or ally. They show you that as a queer in Chambana you’re not alone. We’re crawling all over the place. Do hide your children. We will convert them. I’m not sure if I am joking or not. Random Tangent One: at one point this guy asked if I thought homosexuality was a free choice or if you are born gay. Telling him about the harassment I went through in high school, I told him I would be an idiot for choosing to be gay. I do believe this, but talking to my friend Sam the other day, he made a good point about all the benefits that comes with being a fag. It opens so many doors in terms of meeting a wide variety of people (as opposed to meeting 40 German majors and having to befriend them for that sole reason) and there is always something to talk about, whether it be the politics or the sex or whatever. And that’s another thing, being gay makes talking about sex such an easy endeavor and it’s never actually awkward. Personally, I think if you can’t talk about sex, you shouldn’t be having it. And then there are the parties. My god. Being gay fucking rocks.
When it comes to thinking of it as an office just for socializing, I can’t help but compare it to a frat, we just don’t have our own house (yet). It’s a bunch of people coming together for a common reason, and instead of paying thousands of dollars to know a few broskies and brostophers, you pay nothing and get free access to a printer.
The Office is indeed a place where you can go to just chill. You can watch some TV (complete with the Logo channel, for those of you who are so inclined) or eat lunch in a place more comfortable than next to a bowling alley in a basement. You can study there and have extremely random conversations with people you’ve never met before. You can check out books from The Office’s library that deal with everything from the joys of gay sex to coming out to being transgender.
The Office sponsors stuff, it’s a cool place to hang out, and I’m sure they’re somehow affiliated with all the gay RSOs on campus. I don’t know if they have any control over them or if they sponsor them or anything like that, but they do know who they are. Last year I was part of a fundraiser where we acted out a short play about gay relationships and rehearsal took place, get this, in The Office.
I want to continue telling you about my fight with this Sox fan. He told me about how he doesn’t have a problem with gays but he thinks that the act of sex itself is weird. Ok, while maybe I understand where he is coming from (good sex is apparently completely foreign to this man), what exactly was his tactic? He does realize that I’m gay, right? And that he just insulted not only me but also all of my friends who are gay and The Office itself. Did this man lack social skills? I didn’t say that I don’t mind Asians (oh, note: the guy was Asian American) but I find their eyes weird or anything like that. I don’t tell Louis that I don’t mind black people but that his gigantic cock freaks me out.
I’m glad The Office exists. I think that after our conversation was through this guy actually may have learned something, and maybe 30 years down the line he’ll actually realize that what he said to Louis and me was completely insulting. I know The Office is probably tucked away where it is so that people don’t just wander in and start insulting everyone, but I found this conversation to be a rather good one. It’s great that The Office is able to serve as a safe space, but we need to put ourselves out there in front of people and be seen if these conversations are going to take place. We need a fucking house.
Liam Reed: 1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com
Comments
Lyndiddy (Lyndiddy) says:
(Posted August 24th, 2008 at 7:08 pm)
This very importantly illustrates that The LGBT office is both a safe place for us queers and one where open minded people may seek enlightenment. I’m always open to the idea of arguing for our right to wonderous, sensual, acts of depravity.
Louis (Louis) says:
(Posted August 24th, 2008 at 7:19 pm)
I don’t mind white people but your gigantic cock freaks me out.
Mike Consalvo (Mike Consalvo) says:
(Posted August 24th, 2008 at 8:45 pm)
Sounds like The Office is a great place.
As for that dumbass Sox fan (leave it to the Sox fans! GO CUBS!!!) I’ve learned that most bigots don’t realize they are bigots. Its up to us to point out that they are bigots. I know somebody who is a big racist (and a closet homosexual, but that’s another conversation) who makes racist many racist comments including one time saying that slavery was a good thing. When I pointed out to him that he was the most racist person I know, he became offended and hurt. He even went so far as to write me an email detailing why he wasn’t racist. So, it hit me, racist people and bigots don’t know they are bigots. They think what they believe is socially acceptable and must have another meaning for the word bigot. I almost think these people are hopeless.
Nathan (Nathan) says:
(Posted September 7th, 2008 at 4:52 pm)
I don’t think they’re hopeless. I was one (i.e., a closet homosexual and a bigot, in a polite, Christ-like way), and I like to think I have been, as Nick might say, edumacated.
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Liam Reed
1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com
Nick Z (Nick Z) says:
(Posted August 24th, 2008 at 4:35 pm)
It is always nice to be able to educate people who don’t know anything better. When you said a Sox shirt, I totally thought you were talking about a person of a different race :-p Goes to show that we could all use a little edumacation.