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God’s Gift to Man: Live Pornography

posted by Liam Reed at 10:37 am.

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My first encounter with porn was when I was a very young child. I was still living on the south side of Chicago and my dad had all of his magazines laid out across his bed. I think he must have been going through his Sports Illustrated collection and throwing all but the best issues out. He had left his room for a bit when I wandered in there and discovered, amidst covers with Dennis Rodman and Ken Griffey Jr. was a woman surrounded by purple. I do not remember her exact look, but I remember the word Playboy staring at me. I quickly opened the issue, saw what I needed to see, and felt very pleased with myself. I then ran out of the bedroom as quickly as possible to ensure that no one caught me.

Oh how the times have changed. Instead of flipping through pages of a magazine there is now a multitude of ways to take in that ultimate sexual pleasure of taking care of one’s business, and autofellatio isn’t even necessary! Apropos autofellatio, Microsoft Word claims that it isn’t a word so I decided to check Wikipedia, and let me tell you my friends, it is indeed a word, and it is a word accompanied by a very lovely photograph of a man in the act. The same goes for the word pearl necklace. If you have the time, I highly recommend some Wikisurfing.

WIKI: The sun god Ra was said to have created the god Shu and goddess Tefnut by fellating himself and spitting out his own semen onto the ground.

Our generation, Generation iPod or Generation YouTube or whatever people have started labeling us, is a very lucky generation. Yes, we have a “conflict” in Iraq and yes there is a big to-do about equality laws in the United States, but it is all made up for with the amount of free pornography that we can receive, provided you have the internet and the latest version of QuickTime.

There’s something for everyone out there. Erotic literature is aplenty on the internet. One of my friends recently told me that her masturbatorial adventures vary quite widely from when she’s in the shower to in the bedroom. In the shower, it’s all based on the physical, where a quick how-do-you-do from the showerhead does the trick. But in the bedroom, the stimulation comes slow and is drawn out thanks to saucy tales of man-on-woman action, or in some cases man-on-man. She hasn’t ventured into lesbian erotica yet, but I feel these things come with time.

Then, of course, there is the Google search engine. If you search, for example, autofellatio under the images category, a multitude of random images come up for your … er … spanking. However, with this word in particular a good deal are simply just cartoons. It seems that autofellatio is a bit harder to come by.

My favorite forms of pornography and technology, though, are based on a little thing I like to call webcams. The first website that I was introduced to that had a search engine of free porn was actually relatively late. I didn’t find out until the beginning of Fall Semester 07 that Xtube.com existed. This, of course, isn’t the only one of its kind, but it has become my favorite among searchable free porn. What I really love about Xtube is that not only can you find anything you have ever dreamed about, but for the most part it is all homemade. It is real sex between real people. Sure, some people look like models, but they tend to be the natural models. There’s none of this fake lighting bullshit to make people look better. No makeup. Real fucking is a huge turn-on, or at least it is for me, which brings me to my next website.

Could you imagine this being the only form of pornography available? God Bless 2008!

A friend of mine sent me an IM around 1 AM telling me that he has become addicted to cam4.com, a website with webcams set up by men, women, couples, and shemales who want to strut their stuff. For the viewers at home, it’s a sort of voyeurism that allows you to establish a secret identity and have an interactive e-porn experience. You can watch a straight guy jerk off, and if you want to chat with him you can easily pretend that you are a woman with a tight tight bearded clam that is just begging to be filled.

Isn’t that sick?

I love this website. Last night I watched a young tattooed dude have sex with a girl in his computer desk chair. Every once in a while they would stop to see what people wanted them to do to each other. The tattooed guy got into it and followed people’s directions while the woman seemed more intent on drinking out a few bottles of wine.

I’m not a cammer on this website, nor do I think I ever will be, but for those who have the balls to do it, more power to them. The difference between this live camming website and Xtube is that you cannot download the live stream with basic tools like RealPlayer, whereas it is very easy to download any and all videos ever posted on Xtube. If you’re into showing off your body but don’t want copies of it getting out just yet, you might be better off starting with live shows. Actually, about a year ago a friend of mine found a video in Xtube of an acquaintance of ours masturbating and touching his feet. Thanks to RealPlayer and the ability to download videos of off Xtube, YouTube, and the like, this acquaintance will never be able to live down the fact that he has jerked off in foot porn for the world.

This brings up the question I have: how embarrassing is it to do porn? Should it be embarrassing at all? So many people, myself included, find joy in these home videos that are constantly being posted on the web. It’s only a bit awkward when you actually recognize the person, especially when you see them in person and want nothing more than to tell them that they should really bust out the sheers because they have some major trimming that needs to be taken care of.

I like sex. I like porn. I think outlets such as Cam4 and Xtube are great because you can express yourself sexually and remain STD-free, but how open about our sexuality should we really be? What if our bosses find videos of us doing the nasty on the internet? Hell, I’m currently applying for jobs right now and I am somewhat terrified that a potential employer could see that I even WRITE about sex. Could you imagine if the hiring manager at American Eagle looked up my name and saw me fucking a watermelon? Now, I have never fucked a watermelon, but I have seen a video of someone who has. Can his employer really judge him for his love of large fruits and vegetables?

I believe sex is an important part of my life, and therefore I will continue having sex and I will continue writing about it. I hope you choose to continue having sex as well, and maybe someday soon I’ll be seeing you on Xtube.

Liam Reed: 1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com