I just got back from “doin it” with a group of like … 8 guys, and you know what, more often or not, they were shaved. Ok, the doin’ it part isn’t true, but I have been taking a boxing class here and I do happen to see naked men here quite often. Now, mind you, I don’t know if they’re heterosexual or homosexual, but based on statistics that were probably taken in the 1970s in the U.S. by some pro-queer group, 1 in every 10 of them is gay. It also so happens that way more than 9 out of 10 happen to be shaved, and not just down there, but quite often under their arms too. How many exactly? I’m not sure, but next time I will be sure to bring a notepad and a marker made especially for tallying such things. I’ll also bring my camera and ask if they mind me taking pictures. They’re European so they shouldn’t care, right?
The first time I changed into my Illinois tank I didn’t realize that I was the odd man out by having armpit hair. I always thought that even European women had armpit hair, but I guess it’s just those dirty dirty French people. Not that I stereotype.
The second time that this was brought to my attention was when I was going to wear a different tank to a club that we were off to. My friend Roland said that if I insisted on wearing this shirt I would have to shave first. Armpit hair is apparently such a travesty that it not only embarrasses you, but the people around you as well.
I changed my shirt. I was not about to shave away the last bit of American dignity I had away so I could impress the gays at Why Not, the only gay club in Vienna. However, while not aiming to impress, I still wanted to seem decent, which is exactly what led to the shirt change.
The moral of today’s story: Looks Matter. They do, and you’re a fool if you believe otherwise. A damn fool! If you don’t care about what you look like when you go out, it’s as though you’re saying, “Hello World, I give up. Please, kill me now.” Actually, I’m pretty sure that’s a direct quote I heard someone say when talking about seeing a person wearing sweatpants to class.
A fun (!) comparison is between the students at the Economics University of Vienna (http://www.wu-wien.ac.at/) and the students at the University of Illinois. Here in Vienna, students seem to wear nothing less than their finest shirts and black pants to class. Admittedly, this is disgusting in the summer, so right now a lot have switched to the casual polo. At the U of I, men are often seen wearing pajama pants with cartoons of beer mugs on them and women are often seen wearing bar crawl tees and giant sunglasses worn primarily to hide their hangovers. I’m not sure which I prefer better: in Vienna you have to be pretty 24/7, but at U of I, even my bad days are better than what I see students wearing half the time.
What I really detest is when I see students give presentations in front of classes full of a couple hundred students and dressed as though they didn’t know they would be presenting today. How I feel about this is basically if you aren’t giving yourself 20 minutes of attention by showering and pulling on some jeans in the morning, how do you expect me to give you 40 minutes of my attention to you in a classroom I probably don’t want to be in in the first place?
I recently heard on some strange German news program that the wage you earn varies based on how tall you are, with average height people earning 9 to 17% more than those who are a bit shorter.
I had posted links but they totally stretched out the page, which isn’t cool, so a hint to looking up these articles would be using JSTOR or Google and using keywords such as “height” and “wage.”
Being pretty matters. The prettier you are, the more people will like you. The taller you are, the more money you will make. Well, maybe. If you go through life wearing sweatpants everyday, you will not be successful. Definitely. Maybe this all seems obvious, but I don’t hear enough people admitting it. All I usually hear is that marketing companies give us unreal expectations of what men and women should look like. I’ve seen the locker room at the sports university and let me tell you, those expectations have become very very real for me.
I’m not shaving my armpits. I have too much American pride for that (go figure). But, I am keeping them well-trimmed and paying much closer attention than ever before. Now, let’s just hope karma doesn’t come kick me in the ass by having a truck roll over my face for admitting to this.
Me (clearly) and this cool mirror I have that changes the colors of the shirt that I am wearing
Liam Reed: 1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com
Comments
Serge (Serge) says:
(Posted June 9th, 2008 at 1:27 pm)
who gives a shit, stop talking about all this
Jensen Thome (Jensen Thome) says:
(Posted June 9th, 2008 at 1:46 pm)
So why do they shave? Loose virtue or prostitution? Avid skiers? It can’t be vigorous labor. Can it really be all about the look?
It seems cultural. American women shave their underarms (and legs). If they didn’t, we would see that as something distasteful or aberrant.
It’s interesting, your armpits don’t smell any worse if you retain your underarm hair. The hair’s only active use is to collect pheromones (Sexual readiness and prowess, who needs it, right?). Since most Europeans shave and if the opposite were true, those of us who have been on the straßenbahn on a hot day wouldn’t notice something afoul.
Having said that:
Deodorant is a must, hairy or chamois leather armpits. I mean, when we all heard Kate Hudson begged Matthew McConaughey to wear deodorant, we all thought he was a little gross after refusing. She later brought him a salt rock (a natural deodorant).
I do believe in keeping yourself groomed. Visible or not, you should trim - the 70’s are over. I also second the disgust with wrinkled sweats and sandals to class.
Maybe I’m just too American.. but unless I’m doing some mad skiing or swimming, I wouldn’t shave my armpits (and still probably wouldn’t). Skin irritations (burning) and ingrown hairs on your face is difficult enough. I would imagine it would be a real bastard to have those same issues under your arms.
The answer must be culture and a new one at that. Most of the untraveled Americans still believe Europeans don’t shave their pits.
It’s quiet possible that we’re the stinky ones. After all, we were walking in Vienna late one night and when we asked a local about city odor during the summer, the reply was “It depends on how many Americans are here”….
Mary Z (Mary Z) says:
(Posted June 9th, 2008 at 2:58 pm)
While the shaving of the male armpit may be more confined to Austria as Tom has suggested, it is typically European for students to be more dressed up for classes. I spent a semester in England, and I never saw a single student wear pajamas to class. Students would wear jeans and t-shirts if that was their natural style (I’ll never forget when I saw a british kid in my class wearing a shirt that said “FACT: Clowns kill people”). But they were relatively more put together. I think it’s also more typical in certain Latin American countries, though that might depend on whether or not the school is public or private (rich kids gotta show off their prada backpacks).
I personally despise wearing pajamas in public. I’m not really one for getting dressed up, but pajamas make me feel really sloppy, and I don’t think they’re flattering. Especially when they are paired with Ugg boots.
Liamz (Liamz) says:
(Posted June 9th, 2008 at 3:23 pm)
Tom, I heard the same thing about the implanting chest hair. I should mention it to the Austrians. Maybe we’ll all go in together and get some cool back hair or something.
Serge, basically I think it’s a damn lie when people say looks don’t matter. I love the articles from Doin It Well but the latest one, which is about looks and whatnot (which probably I subconsciously used as a starting point for this blog) made me want to just point out that looks DO matter. Uh, so basically, I give a shit. You can find their sweet ass blog here:
http://the217.com/articles/view/beauty_down_under
Jensen, true that. Especially about the smelly Americans. To think that I thought it would be the dog piss all over the place that made it smell bad. Whatever. But um, when did you become the expert on Kate Hudson? I think we need to talk …
Mary, if this clowns business is true I may need to rethink my position on abortion. Hm. I was hoping that would sound more outlandish but I think it actually (almost) just makes sense. Point is, I also dislike Ugg boots when paired with pajamas.
Mike Consalvo (Mike Consalvo) says:
(Posted June 9th, 2008 at 7:58 pm)
Wow, I never knew about some of those differences. Trimming certain areas is fine and acceptable in my book, but shaving? That’s just too much work. Also, have you seen the damn cost of razors? I’m full Italian which means I’m hairy and it would take too much damn time and money to shave certain regions.
Looks ALWAYS matter sad but true.
Jon Newhall (Jon Newhall) says:
(Posted June 10th, 2008 at 3:38 pm)
Short armpit hair = one more reason to love Europe and one more reason I would fit in well there. Can I move yet? Boys in Wichita are lucky to have trimmed their facial hair and the rest might as well be off limits to a razor. The gays here are somewhat different though. A surprising number favor laser hair removal. Though painful many claim it is wonderful….. I will stick to a razor:)
ламинат (ламинат) says:
(Posted August 13th, 2008 at 1:49 pm)
iez Een plaatje zegt alles, toch ? mof Het volledige rapport is hier te vinden. Lees natuurlijk t de blogposting. y s
Thanks for interesting post! xtc
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Tom Bellino (Tom Bellino) says:
(Posted June 9th, 2008 at 12:39 pm)
For the record, I’m pretty sure the French/Italians/Spanish/British do not shave their armpits. I wasn’t in Europe nearly as long as you’ve been, but I never saw any reason to believe so many men were shaving. In fact, I remember seeing chest hair on guys in bars and even on the street if they were wearing v-necks or something. And I’ve seen a fair amount of British porn, haha. Plus, in Chicago, for at least a few years, it’s become really common for guys to actually show off their chest hair with really low cut shirts. Is Austria stuck in the twink-centric late 90s/early 2000s?
I recently read an article written by a plastic surgeon about how his male customer base has exploded since the 1980s, but that the demands from them have changed drastically. Hair removal was huge in the 90s, but now the vast majority of men actually want hair implanted on their chests. And notice how many advertisements now have men with natural looking body hair. I think it’s a healthy shift. Men should not feel they have to shave the very hair which distinguishes them from women. Now, of course, if someone independently wants his hair removed, that’s cool too, but no one should feel pressured by society to do it. (This goes for women, too, of course.)
Personally, I’ve always thought that (usually) men look best in their natural states. If a guy is hairy, that usually fits with every other physical attribute he has and it looks good. If a guy is completely bare, then that looks good too, as it probably matches other physical qualities he has. When a guy has bear-arms, a full beard, and then somehow magically a hairless chest, it just looks weird. But that’s just my opinion. Apparently that whole aryan thing is still pretty popular over in Osterreich.