When it comes right down to it, there’s only one question that really matters. It’s a question so epic that men have been ruined from answering it. I am prepared to answer that question, and I hope to sway some of you people who think otherwise onto my side.
The Answer: Cream cheese, dips, that chili dip where you use an entire block of melted creamcheese, gouda, mozzarella, oh god mozzarella!, mozzarella sticks, cheese-stuffed pizza crusts, cheeseburgers, grilled cheese, pepperjack, cheese naan, paneer makhani, paneer in general, bosco sticks, feta, parmesan, nachos, Swiss, American, cheddar, any cheese served on a toothpick, brie, the calcium, rauchkaese, crumbled feta on a salad, bergkaese, bruschetta with cheese, tomato and mozzarella, ricotta, cheez its (not so much cheese nips), asiago cheese, provolone, deep dish, tortillas, spreadable jalapeno cheese, Chihuahua, that joke where the pun is “nacho cheese!” stuffed peppers, basically cheese on almost any sandwich, chili cheese dogs, chicken cordon bleu, chicken parmesan, omelets, cheesecake, macaroni and cheese, broccoli and cheese, 3-cheese lasagna, cheese Danish, corn chowder and cheese, burritos, enchiladas, quesadillas, cheese wiz (sp?), on a bagel, the leaning tower of cheese-a!, fondue, quiche, kaesebrotchen, any food with the word “melt” in it, topping any pasta, but usually spaghetti, jumbo pretzels and cheese, calzones, on crackers, in, on, or around potatoes, melted over scrambled eggs, on certain types of scones, melted on beef sandwiches, stuffed mushrooms, in crepes, and, of course, on pizza.
The Answer
When asked upon whether I would sooner give up blowjobs or cheese for the rest of my life, I would clearly rather give up the blowjobs. Ain’t nothin’ more satisfying than cheese.
Oh, and the same goes for peanut butter, a food which is arguably more impressive because there are less foods where you can use pb as an ingredient and yet I would still be willing to give up blow jobs in order to have it, but I like my cheese list a lot more than I like my peanut butter list.
Liam Reed: 1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com
Comments
Kevin McLoughlin (Kevin McLoughlin) says:
(Posted May 23rd, 2008 at 11:34 am)
Can’t we just have blow jobs AND cheese?
Liamz (Liamz) says:
(Posted May 24th, 2008 at 3:53 am)
No. You have to decide! I’m telling you, this is the question has stood the test of time. Like … 2 years.
Mike (Mike) says:
(Posted May 24th, 2008 at 1:59 pm)
Ohhhh, cheese for sure. I’m a cheese freak. I load just about everything I eat with cheese, which probably explains why I’m going to die early. I particularly like the combining of cheese and chocolate like Eli’s Chocolate Chips Cheesecake, which is pound for pound the best desert in the world. Now if only there was a way to combine the blow jobs and the cheese.
Mary Z (Mary Z) says:
(Posted May 24th, 2008 at 3:09 pm)
Speaking from the female perspective, I’d give up cheese. Here’s my reasoning: I haven’t had oral sex today, but I have had cheese today, and I’m totally ok with that.
Jon Hansen (Jon Hansen) says:
(Posted May 25th, 2008 at 5:58 pm)
This is the toughest question that’s been posed to me in awhile.
Heres the thing, if you give up blowjobs, there are still handjobs and sex, etc.
If you give up cheese…..there’s nothing even close to it! Nothing!
Ugh, recluctantly I’d give away bjs.
Lana (Lana) says:
(Posted May 26th, 2008 at 10:39 am)
Id give up peanut butter first.
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Liam Reed
1987 model, runs fairly well, few dents, starts in cold weather, no baggage, loves flea markets and canned soup. Send all hate mail, love mail, and sexual advances to withtongue@gmail.com
Louis (Louis) says:
(Posted May 23rd, 2008 at 8:53 am)
Hm. Yeah, I’d give up receiving head in favor of cheese, no problem.
But giving? I don’t know, that’s a whole other question…