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Hug-In Tonight On Green, or The Day of Silence

posted by Carl Newman at 11:41 am.

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Today is the Day of Silence, which if you don’t know, you should acquaint yourself by reading this Buzz article. In short, people are silent to raise awareness of the ways that members of the LGBT community are silenced. Partially as a memorial to the victims of deadly hate crimes, and partially as a call for action and acceptance of the community.

I will not be participating in the silence for two reasons: I’m not really a part of the community (much as I support their cause) and I have to go to work today, and my job is making phone calls.

But it’s an important day to me anyways. I once heard a (very wrong) man argue that the Day of Silence was a fundamentally stupid form of social demonstration. He seemed to think it should be a day of Speaking Out. That’s not the purpose.

This is not a personal matter to me, and yet it is very personal. I don’t stand for the rights of the gay community because I have close gay friends (which, not to diminish their contribution, seems to be the most prevalent drive among “allies”). I’m for it because it’s the right damn thing to do.

When I was thirteen, my confirmation class went to the taping of a Christian talk show called Different Drummer. When it came time to ask questions of the two guest pastors and the moderator my question was (roughly) this:

“In Leviticus it says that ‘A man shall not lie with another man as he lies with a woman. God hates that.’ How can God hate?”

The moderator and one of the pastors just looked totally befuddled, but the third pastor (a woman, I might add) gave an answer that allowed me to keep my faith (this was a big moment for me at the time):

“The Bible tells us that God is Love. And so what is not of Love, is not of God.”

I digress.

The Day of Silence is deeply moving to me. Because when I read about the victims of hate crimes, many of which go unreported if it doesn’t result in a death, I can not help but cry. When I think of how so many people are silenced. Through violence, or intimidation, or just plain oversight. The number of children who are just discovering who they are, but then are taught through bigoted comments and outright spite to sit down and be quiet. To not bother the rest of us. The rest of us “normal” people. To try to hide who they are so we don’t feel uncomfortable. The people, the children, the men and women who we treat as a nuisance at best. Human beings are capable of inflicting great tortures on one another, and so they often do.

When I read statistics about how gay teens are more likely to attempt suicide than their straight counterparts. And then I realize that the word “attempt” doesn’t mean they always fail. I will admit that I’m crying as I write this, because this kind of suffering is different.

It’s one thing to hate a person. Hatred is actually a higher level of connection than most human emotions. To me the Day of Silence has nothing to do with hatred. It’s not an attempt to stop hatred. It’s an attempt by a group that is dehumanized to be recognized as what they are: Human.

From my limited powers of deductive reasoning, I think that human beings exist for one of two reasons: To harness nuclear power or to exalt the human spirit. I tend to lean towards the latter. And if I’m right, then there is not greater cause than the elimination of the depression of that sprit.

A student on campus was a victim of a hate crime two weeks ago. Right on Green St. Right where it’s supposed to be safe. I can’t stand for people to be afraid that way.

Tonight (or tomorrow if it rains on us too much) there is going to be a hug-in on Green St. See the Facebook event here. I’ll see you then.

Carl Newman: appreciates when you don't feel like commenting, but still want to tell him what an asshole he is at warriorpoetresponds@gmail.com