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Introducing: Me!

posted by mzemait2 at 8:08 pm.

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Hello ladies and gentlemen.

And welcome to my blog. My name is Mary Z, and I will be allowing you to further waste time on the Internet. You’re welcome.

According to Technorati.com, an internet watchdog site, there are currently 112.8 million blogs. I am a small blip on a large-scale radar. In other words, it’s kind of like being a student at the University of Illinois.

I used to have a blog. Ever heard of a little thing called “LiveJournal”? I was all over that. And before that, I was the queen of Xanga. Jealous? Those were the days before blogging was considered alternative journalism. High schoolers like me used them to bitch about their friends and then use the the defense of “Ummmm, I was VENTING, ok? It’s my journal, if you don’t like it, DON’T READ IT.” On that note, I’d like to apologize once again to Emilie Alcock — I shouldn’t have written those terrible things about you during A Midsummer Night’s Dream junior year. You did TOTALLY deserve the part of Helena.

But I couldn’t resist re-joining the ranks of the blogosphere. My friends Warrior Poet and With Tongue got their own blogs here on the good old 217 (have YOU heard about the 217?!), and reading their amusing mind droppings everyday made me realize I should be allowed to subject you to my thoughts as well. The question was, what to write about? A music blog was out of the question. My taste in music is not of the required “Randomly Named Indie Band/ Jam Band / Classic Rock Band That Everyone is Supposed to Like” persuasion. For instance, when I make a call-in request at WPGU, it’s always William Shatner’s cover of “Common People.” I’m sorry, but that one piece of musical genius is better than anything the Beatles or Miley Cyrus ever put out. And I don’t think I’m quite the person to blog on LGBT culture in Champaign. I mean, I haven’t even been to Studio 54 night, so how can I be possibly be informed on the issues?!?! And seriously, I’m having too much fun reading With Tongue.

So, I’ll have to write about what I know best: myself. This little corner of the Interweb will give you a glimpse into the mind and thoughts of yours truly. A terrifying thought, I know. But fret not, because I am a pretty entertaining person, and my skittish, quirky nature brings delight to the masses. I’ve had some interesting experiences in life that have shaped my outlook on life, and I’d like to entertain you with them. I might talk about some social or political issues that I’m particularly passionate about (sexual violence, religion, sex education, eating disorders, etc), but this ain’t no Op-Ed piece. The only reason I have deep interest in these topics is because I have had some sort of personal interaction with them. So if I’m gonna go on about an issue, I’m going to make it personal, and hopefully make you laugh in the process. I can’t be serious for too long before I make an inappropriate joke.

That’s what she said.

Huh?

Nevermind.

So please enjoy my blog, Triple Entendre. A triple entendre is, according to respected domains of information (aka, Wikipedia) a “rare occurrence in language where a phrase can be understood in any of three ways.” It’s sometimes silly, sometimes slightly inappropriate, but always clever and complex.

Wow, that almost sounds like I’m describing myself. Too bad the definition doesn’t include “eyes that glow like emeralds” and “nice ass.” Then it would be SPOT ON.

I know you can only see my eyes in this picture, but you’ll have to take my word on the other half.

Mary Zemaitis: I enjoy comedy. And entendres. Sometimes, Triple Entendres.