I had the most interesting dream last night. It involved my fake-named friends Linus, Lucy, and Betty. In this dream (as well as in real life) Betty has a thing for Linus. However, Linus is coupled with Lucy and may simply enjoy being affectionate with friends. Lucy is oblivious to it all until she sees Linus and Betty holding hands as they enter a grocery store. Lucy, some other friends, and I are in a car when Lucy demands that we enter the grocery store in an effort to confront Linus and Lucy. Keep in mind, though Betty and Linus are only holding hands, there is a feeling that something more is going on between them.
Anyway, right before the huge confrontation, I find Betty, take her face in my hands and ask what the hell she was thinking. Her answer didn’t make sense (and I don’t remember it) so I run away and search for a cake. I’m assuming that the cake was going to be eaten by me…alone, thus cementing my fear that I may never have sex again because who wants to have sex with Thunderthighs McGee? But I digress.
This dream got me a-thinking. Due to the fact that I am on summer vacation and, therefore, no longer have collegiate stimulation of the intellect, I’m going to run with it. What makes my dream different from the real-life “Linus,” “Lucy,” and “Betty” is that “Betty” says she would never be the “other woman” and break up a relationship. She is not what many of my friends would call a home wrecker. However, I’ve had a few friends who would have little problem with being the “other woman/man” though I doubt they would be so comfortable with the home wrecker title.
Some of my “other woman/man” friends have said that the relationship problems of their secret lover are not his or her concern. Rather, it’s the person’s fault for allowing himself/herself to fall for my friend. Other secret lovers would say that the label of “other” woman/man is only temporary since the coupled lover will soon come to his or her sense and leave his or her girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse. I, on the other hand, am terrified of Karma coming back and kicking my ass. Also, I’ve been the one who has been left for a secret love. Trust me. It’s not fun. So, what’s a Queer Quaker woman of color to do? [I’ll get back to the Quaker addition in a bit.] As little sex as I get, I fear I may actually turn down an opportunity for a relationship with someone who is still coupled with another person. That is, unless, they are in an open relationship or they want a threesome [YUM!] As for those of us who are fine with alternative relationship statuses, please be careful. Karma is a bitch.
Back to the inclusion of Quaker into my identity model. I will be involved in an internship at Pendle Hill. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Pendle Hill, it is a Quaker community center in Pennsylvania. I will be there for 7 weeks which is a huge chunk of my summer. My question to you: How interested would you be in blog posts relating to my experiences there? I promise to not try to convert you or end every post with “Hail Jesus!” or “Be Healed!” I have a feeling that a few lesbians may also be attending and I want to share any life lessons that I may learn with my Chambana homies. Any takers?
Jessica : Jessica is double majoring in Nerdology and Aesthetics and has a minor headache. She enjoys philosophical discussions and challenging the status quo. Above all else, she wants to hear YOUR story,too!
Comments
Liamz (Liamz) says:
(Posted May 19th, 2009 at 1:00 am)
I have definitely been the other man, both knowingly and unknowingly. Each time it’s returned to kick me in the ass in the sense that, if they’re willing to trade up to get you, they’ll be willing to trade up when they find someone even better than you. It sucks major balls.
Alyssa (Alyssa) says:
(Posted May 19th, 2009 at 9:29 am)
First of all, never underestimate how hot it can be to be Thunderthighs McGee. Thighs are sexy. Keep eating entire cakes. The end.
Second of all, I’d totally be down for posts on Pendle Hill! Write write write.
Cookie (Cookie) says:
(Posted May 22nd, 2009 at 5:42 pm)
1. Your thighs are not Thunderthighs. They’re nice. No worries there.
2. One of my greatest fears is being the other woman, especially in the lesbian world. Even if the relationship hasn’t gone that far, my tendency to be single puts relationships on a bit of a pedostal for me. Also, the guilt of having to look that person who was left behind would eat me up, even if I never actually see that other person. I would imagine their faces during one of my many daydreams (or night ones, which would be worse).
3. I would looove to read about your experiences in Pendle Hill and the lesbianic activities you WILL engage in ;).
Sarah Jo (Sarah Jo) says:
(Posted June 3rd, 2009 at 10:14 pm)
I’m always down for some dirty dish. Even Quaker dish. As long as it’s instant…
Greedy (Greedy) says:
(Posted September 1st, 2009 at 11:57 pm)
Hello darling,
I’ve been waiting all summer for an update and don’t see one. Please, write some more. We all know that your head is full of topics.
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Jessica is double majoring in Nerdology and Aesthetics and has a minor headache. She enjoys philosophical discussions and challenging the status quo. Above all else, she wants to hear YOUR story,too!
Elizabeth (Elizabeth) says:
(Posted May 19th, 2009 at 12:11 am)
I’d be interested in reading about Pendle Hill, and more of why you are including Quaker as part of your identity.
I’m not afraid of karma, but I wouldn’t care to have a secret affair. I think a truly trustworthy and respectful person (the only type I would want to date), would have the courtesy to be open, as hard as that can be. I acknowledge that sometimes, someone else can come along. But I think that’s the time to have a serious talk with your partner and really think about what you want, not to cheat.