Thinking about the holidays and how the New Year is quickly approaching, I’ve been thinking about what I can do to find out who I really am and what I can do to change for the better. This way, I can play out my New Year’s resolution ahead of time. At least I’ll be able to come up with excuses as to why I couldn’t fulfill my verbal commitments. Here’s my top 5 ways to find yourself, and if these steps are incorporated together, maybe you can find yourself, as I did.

Number 5
Follow you spirit guide.

Usually this tends to be an animal. Although I’ve heard of this only a few times, mainly in the show Heroes, I don’t know how often this works. I actually tried to first FIND my spirit animal a few weeks back. No talking turtles came my way.

I was actually banking on a coyote to help me out like on The Simpsons, but to no avail. At least I’ve taken the first step.

Number 4
Religion.

Religion is a very touchy subject to talk about. It’s a good thing I don’t have many boundaries. I’ve never thought much about religion, honestly. The way religion is, in my eyes, a cult. Who’s to judge another on how people live their lives, such as sexual orientation? Enough on that matter, regardless of everything I mentioned, I gave it a shot…sort of.

I shaved all of my facial hair in late October, to realize I looked like a young boy, so I then decided to grow everything out. One day, about a week ago, it occurred to me that I look a bit like Jesus. It was almost like an epiphany. I have officially taken the first two steps to discovering who I am.

Number 3
Find solitude.

This can be by any means of relaxation. The first thing I thought to try was yoga…and that’s about as far as it went, it was just another thought clouding the mind. After that, meditation, deep-breathing, acupuncture, a cold bath, alcohol, pain killers, a walk on the beach, and star-gazing…

I settled on listening to Coldplay. Check in the box, three down, and two to go.

Number 2
Read a self-discovery book.

So I started looking into books on Amazon.com and I came across this one, Soul Mapping: An Imaginative Way to Self-Discovery by Nina H. Frost, Dr. Richard W. Shoup, and Dr. Kenneth C. Ruge. I am a firm believer in not judging a book by its cover, but I made an exception here. From the title alone, it looks like those actions were already covered, see Number 4 and Number 3. On to the final step, the one step that matters above all the rest.

Number 1
Piss someone off that likes to write about their anger, and become more honest in the process.

Of course, why did I waste all of that time on the other steps? All I had to do was piss off one person by being myself and have them blog about all of my faults. Not only did I learn about how they felt, but it was an eye-opener to the person I really am. I had no idea about most of what was said. I’m thankful for the internet and all of its glory. The internet allows people to vent their most inner, personal, thoughts into an electronic journal for all eyes to see. Thank you anonymous blogger.

The moral of this story, kids, is that you don’t have to go through the agony of buying self-help books or wasting time and money on yoga classes, NO. Just piss someone off that has some built up emotions and a little bit of writing ability. You’d be surprised at how much someone can pick up on you and your personality from as little as a week. Have a fun and safe holiday. Take some time to find yourself before the New Year.

Oh, those Mormons, they’re at it again!!!

The Mormons have traditionally been the Dennis the Menace of religion, pestering us, the proverbial Mr. Wilson, with their knocks on the door and their polite smile veiled assaults on the street. Putting the extreme cases aside,the average Mormon missionary is about as harmless as a fly. After all, if they can’t drink, they’re not going to pick fights.

But, even though the average Mormon missionary at your front door will leave you alone with a simple “Not interested,” they seem less inclined to do so for these people:

Apparently, Mormons aren’t satisfied simply trampling everyone’s religious flowerbed, they feel they have to posthumously baptize Jews who perished in the Holocaust. While the Church of Latter Day Saints has said they are taking steps to prevent the practice, they refuse to call for an end to posthumous baptism, which they claim is and has been an important part of the Mormon faith.

Freedom of religion is a beautiful thing, but it’s tragic that those who perished for their faith in the Holocaust, can’t find peace, even in death.

Is there? Personally, I don’t think there’s anyway to prove it one way or the other, but apparently, the citizens of North Carolina really really think that there is a dude up in the clouds.

Hagan claims that the member of Godless PAC was just one of 40 hosts of the fundraiser, including Senator John Kerry. Dole is down by 5 points with less than a week remaining before the election. For her sake, she had better hope there is a god.

Seriously. Does she? Matt Damon would like to know.

And, frankly, so do a lot of people. Palin is a former member of the Wasilla Assembly of God, a pentecostal church in Alaska. Palin left the church in 2002, but as governor she named a street after WAG’s founding pastor Paul Riley, so it would seem her time there meant a great deal to her.

This is a church where, while it wouldn’t be required, speaking in tongues would not be out of place. This is a church in which the pastor brought Palin up to the front and prayed to God to protect her from “witchcraft.”

This is a church that commits obvious violations of tax exempt status by endorsing political candidates from the pulpit. Let’s be frank, these people are not Darwin’s biggest fans. So, if Palin belonged to this church, and if its members believe that evolution is a fallacy, how old does Sarah Palin think the world is? Does she believe that dinosaurs existed?

Given the previous facts, it’s not an unreasonable question to ask. It really isn’t.

Source: AP, Wasilla Assembly of God