I repeat, Plaxico Burress is the dumbest motherfucker on the planet. If you hadn’t already heard, Plax managed to shoot himself in the leg early Saturday morning in a Manhattan nightclub with an unlicensed handgun.

Accidentally shooting yourself in the leg is pretty fucking stupid.

Doing it in a crowded, Manhattan nightclub where you are surely the center of a lot of attention is even dumber.

Doing it in a state that imposes a MINIMUM 3.5 year sentence for carrying loaded, unlicensed handguns is the dumbest fucking thing on the face of the planet.

Michael Vick offers Plaxico Burress advice on 2′ X 2′ window treatments

Plaxico, who has already been the subject of disciplinary action by the league and the Giants (a one game suspension seems like small fucking potatoes now, huh Plax?) turned himself over to authorities where he was charged with criminal possession of a weapon, a class C felony. He did not enter a plea.

I can’t totally blame Plax for wanting to protect himself in the wake of highly publicized attacks on athletes, including the murder of former Redskins safety, Sean Taylor. But when you’re worth more than the GNP of most African countries, hire a bodyguard. Hire a team of bodyguards. Rent the club out. Don’t carry a loaded weapon (that you obviously don’t know how to use) into a crowded club where you put others’ lives in jeopardy.

So to recap: Someone whose job it is to run, jump, and catch managed to make it impossible to do two of those things, with a device he carries for his PROTECTION (they call that irony, folks), aaaaaaaand will likely serve jail time as a result.

Fucking idiot. (Unless of course his opponent in fantasy football was starting him. Then the joke is on that guy!)

I wonder if it went down like this?