Watch out ladies, he’s taken.

That’s right, former American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken has finally (finallyfinallyfinallyfinally) come out of the closet.

Being an independently minded person and someone who has to be contrary just to be contrary, I’ve never been a huge American Idol fan. Needless to say, my lack of fandom for AI also translates to Clay Aiken and pretty much any other American Idols (excluding Fantasia Barrino because of her ‘funny but not supposed to be funny’ Lifetime original movie, Life is Not a Fairy Tale).

Clay Aiken and American Idol jokes aside, I feel like Aiken’s choice to come out is not as interesting as his supposed reason for doing so.

According to the People magazine article that revealed Aiken’s sexual orientation, he claims that he had to come out because “[he could] not raise a child to lie or hide things. [He] wasn’t raised that way and [he] is not going to raise a child to do that.”

*Clap*….*Clap*….*Clap*

That’s my own patronizingly slow clap for Clay Aiken.

While Aiken is not raising his child to be a liar, he is raising his child to understand that money rules the world.

As the People reading world can see, even the most washed up stars warrant some attention for coming out. Isn’t that why Lance Bass tried to go to space?

In all seriousness, Clay Aiken’s decision to come out would be the exact story to necessitate a short blurb in People. However, Aiken has made a very obvious choice to make as much money off of an announcement that can be the most difficult in the life of a non-celebrity.

Luckily for Clay, he and sweet, adorable, HONEST little Parker will be making a shitload of dough off of a very important personal moment.

I’m glad an admittedly down home boy from North Carolina could not only get over his conservative past by coming out of the closet but also, learn how to milk the system like his equally down home neighbors had to milk their cows at 4 in the morning.

Kudos, Clay Aiken. Your honesty has made me hope that one day, I too can sell one of my very personal secrets to People because my career just isn’t what it used to be.

Source: People Magazine
Perez Hilton