I have no tolerance for boring things. Fashion, for instance, can be a major source of boredom, particularly around Champaign-Urbana.

However, I would expect more from people who have unlimited money and resources who also live in LA (and probably have their whole lives).

Now, LA isn’t New York, where everyone who touches Manhattan pavement instantly turns into a fashion icon for everyone in the rest of the U.S., but you would think that being around all those movie stars and crazy people all the time would at least give you SOME inspiration.

Not so for Lauren Conrad. She’s a budding “fashion designer” who somehow was able to “start her own clothing line” while going to “fashion design school”. And it blows.

Not in the way that, say, econ classes or cheap hookers blow, but in the Forever 21 sense. That shit is boring, and it’s all been done before.

Case in point: when LC wore HER OWN “design” to the Emmy’s, not only did she epically fail at the whole dressing-yourself-for-an-award-show thing (by wearing HER OWN DESIGN), but it was boring. I could see if you’re Betsey Johnson and you’re like “Whatever, mere mortals design clothes that are too boring to touch my body” and THEN you wear your own design, but come on, people. I’ve seen this dress a million times before. Hell, straight men could recognize they’ve seen this dress a million times before (and they probably don’t even like it because it makes you look pregnant).

So, LC, I think it’s time for you to call it a day with the whole “fashion line in LA” thing, and do what Isaac Mizrahi did: accept your market of boring people who don’t want to spend money on exciting clothes. I bet it would work out well for you, I really do.

She can’t figure it out.