In my 21 years on this planet, I have known two things; my mom makes better meatloaf than your mom, and I’m destined for disappointment as a Chicago sports fan. It’s not only the fact that I am a diehard Cubs fan, but almost all Chicago sports are due to constantly disappoint their fans. In fact, since most everybody knows the travesty that is the Chicago Cubs organization, I’m going to ignore that franchise. We can start with the Bears.

I admit, the 2006 season was great to watch all season long, even though I wanted to rip my hair out every time Sexy Rexy Grossman threw up another lame duck 60 yards down field into triple coverage. And when the Superbowl came around, I just loved watching Devin Hester running the opening kickoff for a touchdown and then seeing us plummet back down to earth like one of Peyton’s phenomenal touchdown passes.

And I know that many of you are thinking about the bulls in the 90’s. I know, the Bulls were a great dynasty in the nineties. Six championships, Phil Jackson, and MJ. They had it all. But have you watched the Bulls since then? They suck. They suck hard. I’ve followed the Bulls for years since Jordan’s days and have wanted to move to Oklahoma City ever since. (not really) Even this year, the team is filled with tons of talent and the eventual Rookie of the Year. But they can’t play together, they don’t have enough size, and defense is a joke to the Bulls, and the NBA for that matter. I can’t wait for another top 10 draft pick!

I’ve had to resort to supporting the Blackhawks just so I can watch some professional sports without thinking about joining a monastery. That’s right, I am a complete Blackhawks fair-weather fan. I joined their bandwagon when I had nothing else to support and they were doing well. I don’t even know anything about hockey except for the fact that I love watching it. I don’t know most of the rules, but I do know that watching two hockey players beat the crap out of each other legally is great television.

Maybe I wouldn’t feel so slighted about Chicago sports if other championships were being spread out throughout the country, but that’s not the case. Boston is sticking it to the sports world. Between the Patriots, Celtics, and Red Sox, Boston has six national championships in the last seven years. And I thought ACORN was good at rigging elections, they must be thriving in Boston.

In order to keep his fellow constituents to be (the “to be” referring to those who don’t live in Illinois…suckers) apprised of the hap around the President Elect, the Obama campaign has created a website, Change.gov. At the website, you can find news, bios, a blog written by Valerie Jarrett, and even apply for a job in the Obama Administration. A background check and cavity search are sure to follow.

While not on the site, this is certainly the impression it attempts to give.

The Democrats have done it. They won the presidency and solidified their majority in the House and Senate. Following the announcement that Barack Obama had won, gay people everywhere flooded the streets to have HIV infecting sex.

But something more important than the world’s largest public orgy happened yesterday, for the first time in history, a black man will be president.

Now that’s something. That says something about the evolved nature of this country. When the daughter of George “Segregation today, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever ” Wallace votes for black man, that is history.

The moment that left many (myself included) a little choked up, was when a camera scanning the crowd stumbled upon a teary eyed Jesse Jackson. Seeing Jackson overcome with emotion reminds us what we have a nation have been through. Jesse Jackson knelt on the balcony of the Lorraine Hotel next to Martin Luther King Jr. while his life slowly bled out of him. And not quite fifty years later, a black man is in the White House. Jackson’s emotions say it in a way that words like “historical” and “significant” and “monumental,” just can’t convey.

Change “could be” to “is” and you’ve got your cover for next week.

Both Barack Obama and John McCain will appear during halftime of Monday Night Football, in interviews conducted by “The Swami,” Chris “Back back back back shut the fuck up” Berman. Neither Obama’s Bears nor McCain’s Cardinals are playing tonight as the Pittsburgh Steelers take on the Washington Redskins at 7:30 Central time on ESPN. McCain will be rooting for the home team Redskins, as in every election since 1936, when the Redskins have win their last home game before the election (with the notable exception of 2004) the incumbent party retains the presidency.

Get out them Terrible Towels.

The McCain campaign’s PR nightmare?

This guy.

Is there? Personally, I don’t think there’s anyway to prove it one way or the other, but apparently, the citizens of North Carolina really really think that there is a dude up in the clouds.

Hagan claims that the member of Godless PAC was just one of 40 hosts of the fundraiser, including Senator John Kerry. Dole is down by 5 points with less than a week remaining before the election. For her sake, she had better hope there is a god.

The way Rush Limbaugh tells it, one would expect that Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama looked something like this:

The 1968 Olympics

Or this:

By any means necessary

In an email to Politico’s John Martin and Mike Allen, Limbaugh wrote that Powell endorsed Obama purely on the basis of race, and not because Powell truly believes that Obama is the better candidate. Limbaugh, of course, overlooked the fact that Powell made a $2,300 dollar donation to the McCain campaign last year. Powell replied, “I really have been going back and forth between somebody I have the highest respect and regard for, John McCain, and somebody I was getting to know, Barack Obama. And it was only in the last couple of months that I settled on this.”

It says even more to the endorsement that Powell put his mouth where his money was not. Personally, I tend to think that a former four star general, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, National Security Advisor, and Secretary of State can make up his own mind about who he’s going to vote for.

No, Sarah Palin would be, “Ice Man,” I think.

Regardless, a Texas family with the last name Maverick has bone to pick the the McCain campaign. The Maverick Family, originally of San Antonio, has taken issue with McCain and Palin’s constant characterization of the senator as a “Maverick.” The word originated when one of the Maverick family’s ancestors opted against branding his cows, leading to unbranded livestock being referred to as “mavericks.” The term eventually came to mean someone who acted independently with no affiliation to a particular party or ideology. While the family has no bone to pick with the television show of same name, Mel Gibson, or Tom Cruise, they do seem peeved that McCain is running all over the place calling himself, “The Original Maverick.” He’s not, they are.

As a Republican candidate for President, you know you have issues when a family of Texas ranchers are pissed off at you. One has to wonder if he should have gone with a less overused campaign handle. Take a look at what other members of the political competition tried out:

Mitt “Viper” Romney
Mike “Jester” Gravel
Hillary “Wolf Man” Clinton

Frankly, I would be worried that all the constant allusions to his military service and use of the word “maverick” would just remind the electorate of this doozy.

Mission Accomplished

The New York Times has an interactive map on their website that has the polling data from every state where victory is not assured for either Obama or McCain. The site also includes an interactive map where the user can make predictions over who will win each state and the good folks at the NYT will save your settings. Check it out and make your predictions. After last night’s debate, here’s mine.

A real contender this year.

I also like the Dodgers in the NL, fyi.

Katie Couric interviewed Sarah Palin for the prestigious, Emmy winning news magazine “Katie Couric Reports.”

Katie Couric went straight upside Sarah Palin’s head.

It was embarrassing.

Sarah Palin made herself seem so bumblingly incompetent that I am, to some degree, amazed that she managed to find the hockey rink she dropped her kids off at.

Throughout the entire interview she seemed to be in way over her head, skirting calls by Couric to point out specific examples of a variety of different topics. When Couric asked her to qualify what she meant when she said that living in Alaska provided her with foriegn policy experience, she said this:

Watch the whole interview either on Youtube or here. And remember while you watch that this is a woman who only grants the press access to her when she so chooses, so she theoretically should have been incredibly well prepared. My obvious bias aside, watch the interview and ask yourself honestly if this woman is the best candidate for one of the most important offices IN THE WORLD.

Then leave a comment.