What’s back?

This——>

I’ll save everyone my usual Cubs fan blather and just say that I am stoked baseball’s soon to be back in season.

If Joe Buck calls this I’m gonna flip my shit.

I doubt this will be on the video montage next to the arch.

If you haven’t heard the latest news, Brett Favre has told the New York Jets that he plans to retire. Now, I know we all went through this a year ago and he ended up being traded to the Jets after months of rumors of retirement and convincing press conferences. But this time it’s different. He’s old, he’s injured, and he knows it. His shoulder gave him a lot of trouble towards the end of the season and it affected his play dramatically. You all know the legacy of Brett Favre so I am not going to ramble off statistics. What I am going to tell you is why Brett Favre is my new favorite player of all time. Sorry Cade McNown.

BRETT FAVRE IS MY NEW FAVORITE NFL PLAYER FOR THIS REASON: I NO LONGER HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT A-ROD AND HIS JUICING FROM FIVE YEARS AGO.

Brett has picked the perfect time to announce his retirement. Now ESPN has something new to talk about. I can finally turn the Television back on without wanting to slam my head through the glass with A-Rod frustration.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not support steroid use at all because although it does increase homeruns and slugging percentages, it gets away from the mystique of the game of baseball. The game is meant to be about hard work, grinding it out, and being able to play no matter what your body type. I am so sick of hearing about A-Rod taking steroids back in 2003 that hearing Brett Favre is going to retire is music to my ears. From now on, I only have to hear about whether Brett will actually retire or play another year just like last season. But at least it’s not A-Rod.

“There’s a drive into left center field! That ball is gonna be…OUTTA HERE! It’s gone! It’s 715! And there’s a new home run champion of all time, and his name is Henry Aaron!” (Again)

If this keeps happening, and it will, get ready for Hammering Hank to take the top spot again.

And now, for a bit of the good ol’ days.

One of the best home run calls of all time, in my humble opinion. Though I never got over Joe Buck calling McGwire’s 62nd. Just typing his name gives me the willies.

As a Cubs (and Illini) fan, there is very little that can be done, short of involving hot wax and ball gags, to cause me any pain. We’ve been through it all before. But, in true Cubs fashion, they’ve done and gone and fucked us once again. Cubs chairman Crane Kenney recently announced that the Cubs would be raising ticket prices for the 2009 season.

Now, if that doesn’t seem all that bad, let me put it into perspective for you.

A team that hasn’t won a World Series in one hundred (100) years, a team that hasn’t one a post-season game since 2003, a team that has sold out every single game of the last several (and most) seasons, a team that had 20,000 + fans migrate two hours north for “neutral site” games against the Astros, a team that comes from one of the largest media markets in the country, with arguably the largest nationwide fan base after the Yankees and (recently) the Red Sox–this team–decided they weren’t getting enough from the fans, so fuck it, we’re raising ticket prices.

The Tribune Company, soon to be Cuban Enterprises (please God, do me this one fucking favor), will be doing away with the “Value, Regular” and,” Prime” denominations for tickets, replacing them with “Bronze, Silver, Gold” and, “Platinum.” (Someone should tell Michael Phelps to get off his lazy ass and win 8 “Platinum” medals). In essence, 33% of ticket prices will remain the same, and the good seats for the good games go way up. For example, if me, pops, and bro wanted to go to see the Cubs clinch their third straight division title against the Cards in September (please God, do me this one fucking favor), a few hours of sitting on three feet of beer-soaked, green aluminum bleacher will cost us (and by us, I mean pops) $180.

No sports fan should be so naive as to forget that sports are a business, and in order to keep the doors open and the jerseys on the shelves, teams need money. Cubs fans get it. We’re smart. We’re from the North Side, remember? But don’t toss Kerry Wood into the shark tank of free agency because you can’t afford him, and then ratchet up ticket prices.

Cubs fans will put up with a lot. That much has been proven time and time and time and time and time and time again. But don’t start ripping us off. Cubs fans are as loyal as can possibly be. We expect some of that loyalty to come back to us.

Cynic from birth. A true Cubs fan.

Brace yourself for the worst, most insufferable World Series of all time.

It’s gonna be bad.

Real bad.

Palin family baby names bad.

And not because of the actual games. In fact, the games will probably be great. A veteran Phillies team that has been smelling a World Series for the last couple seasons matches up perfectly against the young, mohawked, “worst to first” Rays. The Series, in fact, might be one for the ages.

It’s the fans that are gonna get you.

In the red corner, we have the all time reigning champions of douchebaggery, Philadelphia sports fans!

City of brotherly love

They’re mean, they’re fat, they boo Santa Claus!

And in the blue corner, we have the die-hard, come if they lose, doggedly determined Tampa Bay Rays fans!

Who does Cooperstown play for?

They ring cowbells with reckless abandon whether they’re hitting or fielding (they’re not sure which is which)!

To read more about the notoriously drunken idiocy of the Philly fanatic, or the fair weather baseball ineptitude of your standard issue Tampa fan, click the links above.

The prescription for this World Series? Not more cowbell…just competent Chicago baseball teams.

There has been lots of media coverage devoted to the problem of steroids in baseball. But last night, Alexei Ramirez put one on the board for those playing the game clean (probably).

With his White Sox tied against division rivals the Tigers in the bottom of the 6th and the bases loaded, Ramirez hit his 4th grand slam of the year to put the Sox on top by 4 and the game out of reach. A 4 grand slam season, and this dude is built like any tofu chowing Urbana dweller.

Alexei Ramirez

The Sox take on the Twins tonight in a one game playoff at the Cell to see who will be A.L. Central champion. Even though this blogger’s attention is set squarely on the upcoming Cubs/Dodgers series, here’s to Alexei “The Cuban Missile” Ramirez. May your career be long and your biceps remain a normal size.

Alexei Ramirez

Source: White Sox

As October approaches, baseball becomes literally the most important thing the world.

IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

Although, apparently, not everyone agrees. Baseball, once America’s most popular sport, our national pastime, has taken a bit of a slide in the ratings department. Even though it’s still part of the big three (football, basketball, and baseball) over the last decade, stickball has slipped a bit to basketball and a lot to football in terms of television ratings and in many cities, attendance.

Lately, however, Major League Baseball headed by Commisioner Bud Selig (who rivals Tom Brady in the looks department) has been mounting a bit of a comeback, attracting more fans and television viewers the world over.

The reason:

Baseball is hip, again. No. Not hip like American Bandstand or Chuck Taylors were in the 60’s, but hip:

Welcome to Brooklyn.

The transition is easy to understand. At what other sporting event can you buy Old Style and PBR tall boys? In what other sport but baseball do players take the field and stand for hours, hands on hips, looking intensely non-chalant? Football is too agressive, and basketball just requires too much damn running. Soccer gives baseball a run for its money, but everyone knows the only good football is in England. Just look at all the ironic facial hair:

Jason Giambi

Reed Johnson

Many baseball managers seem to have hopped on the bandwagon as well with their sleek new specs:

Joe Maddon, Tampa Bay Rays

Jerry Manuel, New York Mets

The beard scruff sporting, girl jeans buying, fixed gear bike riding influence of hipsterdom seems to even have influenced one of the oldest of the old guard, the ex Yankee, now L.A. Dodgers manager, Joe Torre.

Is he wearing a scarf in L.A.?

Though this is not to say that this a bad thing. Does anyone really want to go back to the old days?

The old days.

Just don’t be surprised if Joe Girardi endorses Parliament cigarettes and team color keffiyehs become hot items on Craigslist.

source: http://media.www.uwtledger.com/media/storage/paper642/news/2003/12/04/Sports/Top-Five.Popular.Sports.In.America-576965.shtml

Go Cubs Go

Note: These will not be unbiased posts. Cardinals, Packers, Pistons, and Wolverines be forewarned.

Two things happened this weekend that signal that either A) I am in God’s favor or B) The end times are upon us.

1. The Chicago Cubs won their division in back to back years for the first time in a century.

2. Yankee Stadium is no more. And the Yankees, with almost 100% certainty, will not be playing in the post-season for the first time since 1995.

The New York Yankees, possibly the most identifiable sports team in the entire world, a team responsible for 26 World Series Championships in the time the Chicago Cubs have won a big fat zero (0), are making history for not reaching the playoffs. In the same weekend, the Cubs, by far the biggest losers in the history of sports, just shrugged off a one hundred year drought like it was so much old news.

The mighty have fallen and the pitiful risen. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Amen.

It is too early to tell if this is a sign of a permanent shift in the bed rock of life (and yes, for Cubs fans as well as Yankees fans, OCTOBER IS LIFE) or just an aberration from the norm. Either way, fans of the underdog can relish in the fact that we might be seeing quite a bit more of this:

And hearing a lot less of this :

Whether you love or hate the Yankees (or whether you love or pity the Cubs), the fact remains: Yankee Stadium is dead. And on October 1st, Wrigley Field will be the most alive place on the face of the planet.

Source: http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/standings/index.jsp
http://newyork.yankees.mlb.com/index.jsp?c_id=nyy