Meghan McCain finally said what so many young Republicans have been thinking for the last few years. CNN is reporting today that Meghan, daughter of former Presidential candidate John McCain, is calling for Republicans to become more technologically savvy or risk losing more and more political relevance. She is exactly right. Without reaching out to the American people with such extremely popular tools such as Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, and Blogs, the Republican party can forget dethroning Obama in 2012. The fact that Obama won the election with enormous contributions from young voters and the internet should be the only sign the Republican party needs to change their game plan. The Republican party cannot expect to gain any ground on the majority holding Democrats if their best and brightest cannot even operate a computer in the 21st century.

Here’s McCain’s idea of home computing.

Meghan McCain, you are completely right. Now, get out there and convince your father’s friends to take a class on computing skills. Even better, hire a homeless man to teach them, because chances are they could probably type better than our former President could. (on a computer, not a typewriter)

Praise the Lord!

President Bush is no longer in office, time for some changes. Everything is gonna be different from now on! No more speeches that make us wonder if the President has been drinking. No more embarrassing moments in front of foreign diplomats. No more waving goodbye and hitting his head on the helicopter door……………….. oh shit.

While I can’t believe this was on the main page of CNN.com, it does prove that Obama is human and that not only George Bush can make a fool of himself. Believe it or not America, Barack Obama can fuck up sometimes.

But don’t worry, at least he isn’t this bad.

In his first two weeks in office, Barack Obama has done (at least) two things that George Bush couldn’t find the time for in 8 years (for the record, we are not counting listening to Earth, Wind, and Fire).

1) When he screwed something up, he apologized.

2) Exercised common sense.

Funny how admitting wrong doing and subsequently taking the appropriate steps to stay the change course, and using common sense are not mutually exclusive. Personally, I think Daschle would have made a great HHS Secretary, but I suppose appointing someone to a salaried position in the presidential cabinet who owes the IRS a couple hundred thousand in back taxes is a teensy bit hypocritical.

At last
My love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song again.

If you replace Michelle Obama with a giant globe, the song choice still makes sense (even if the dress choice doesn’t).

Don’t replace Beyonce, though. And feel free to discuss the question posed in the title.

Only hours after Barack Obama was inaugurated as the 44th President of the good ‘ol U S of A, the stock market freaked out and made the proverbial move to the suburbs. The NASDAQ is down about 70, the NYSE 255, and the Dow Jones Industrial 261, as of 1:50 this afternoon.

It would seem that our long national nightmare continues, even after it ended.

Is it possible to top a year like 2008? We’ve encountered everything from scandal to accidental celebrity deaths. History was made in politics with the presidential election as well as in the NFL with the league’s first ever 0-16 team. Although the recession hit hard, the entertainment industry made a few strides with superhero movies like Iron Man and The Dark Knight. Here’s a recap of what 2009 is up against.

Government officials and celebrities showed their true colors throughout the year. The true criminals and scumbags captured the headlines. Before the Rod Blagojevich controversy, there was Eliot Spitzer and his prostitute (she then made a singing debut out of the exposure). Really though, who cares about “Client #9” and Ashley Alexandra Dupré? Apparently Time believes that was the number one scandal of the year and there was no mention of our governor within the top ten.

O.J. Simpson is finally getting the jail sentence many believe he deserved years ago. I guess what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

The good side of politics came with our new president-elect, Barack Obama. It shows that our nation has finally progressed past racial barriers, and it’s about time.

On a sad note, death was prevalent for the famous in ‘08. The most shocking death of the year came early with Heath Ledger. An accidental drug overdose took the life of an actor that redefined the role of the infamous Joker in The Dark Knight.

Here’s a short list of other celebrities no longer with us: Bettie Page, Isaac Hayes, Bernie Mac, Michael Crichton, Charlton Heston, and George Carlin.

History was made within the National Football League. The Patriots were near perfection at the beginning of the year, but the choked in the only game that mattered. At least we can rely on the Detroit Lions to pick us up and set the bar with an NFL record of zero wins and sixteen losses. We may never again see this feat.

Michael Phelps came in a distant second to Detroit with history-making performances. So he won 8 gold medals against the best of the best swimmers in the Olympics. The suit did all of the work anyway. I’m totally kidding, that was the single most impressive athletic accomplishment of the year. The next best athletic achievements came from Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt.

The Cubs blew it again…I guess that’s old news though.

Television was entertaining this year. The Office, How I Met Your Mother, and House are still three of the best shows on television. If you haven’t seen Steve Carell’s character Michael Scott on The Office, you’re missing out. Heroes took a fall this past season, but still a decent show if you’re a fan of superpowers and unrealistic twists. No matter how tacky It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (with Danny DeVito) is, I can’t get enough of it. Finally, The Shield ended their reign this past year, and not a minute too soon. I enjoyed the show for a few seasons, but it was time to put that dog to rest.

The most important subject to mention of the entire year is the music. Some bands hit, like TV on the Radio and Coldplay, and one totally missed, Guns n’ Roses. Chinese Democracy started in the mid ‘90’s and should’ve stayed there. Go away Axl, you creepy, creepy looking man…thing. Coldplay is always golden in every aspect of their career. I’m looking to the start of 2009 with Tonight: Franz Ferdinand. A brilliant album I’m still listening to is from The Killers, Day & Age.

There were so many other stories out there, but everything is debatable and some of the stories are too depressing to think about. The one thing that did happen on the LAST day of 2008 was the arrest of Charles Barkley on a DUI suspicion, awesome (apparently a handgun and prostitute are involved, as well). We started 2009 with the Winter Classic between the Red Wings and Blackhawks at Wrigley Field. Nice transition from the old to the New Year. Kudos to you professional sports! Happy New Year, let’s hope for the same excitement this time around.

In order to keep his fellow constituents to be (the “to be” referring to those who don’t live in Illinois…suckers) apprised of the hap around the President Elect, the Obama campaign has created a website, Change.gov. At the website, you can find news, bios, a blog written by Valerie Jarrett, and even apply for a job in the Obama Administration. A background check and cavity search are sure to follow.

While not on the site, this is certainly the impression it attempts to give.

As a citizen of the state of Illinois, I feel that I have a stake in Barack Obama’s staff. Especially when he decided today to choose Illinois king of political badassery Rahm Emanuel for his chief of staff.

Like Barack Obama, Emanuel experienced what it takes to rise quickly through the ranks of national politics.

Facetiously paramount to his obvious qualifications for the position, Emanuel’s character counterpart on The West Wing, Josh Lyman, was deputy chief of staff under President Josiah Bartlett.

I mean, isn’t chief of staff the next logical step in the TV/real world binary? Either that…or I watch far too much television.

It may not be on television anymore but look at all the lessons we’ve learned from The West Wing!!!

Rahm “He’s Our” Emanuel

The Democrats have done it. They won the presidency and solidified their majority in the House and Senate. Following the announcement that Barack Obama had won, gay people everywhere flooded the streets to have HIV infecting sex.

But something more important than the world’s largest public orgy happened yesterday, for the first time in history, a black man will be president.

Now that’s something. That says something about the evolved nature of this country. When the daughter of George “Segregation today, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever ” Wallace votes for black man, that is history.

The moment that left many (myself included) a little choked up, was when a camera scanning the crowd stumbled upon a teary eyed Jesse Jackson. Seeing Jackson overcome with emotion reminds us what we have a nation have been through. Jesse Jackson knelt on the balcony of the Lorraine Hotel next to Martin Luther King Jr. while his life slowly bled out of him. And not quite fifty years later, a black man is in the White House. Jackson’s emotions say it in a way that words like “historical” and “significant” and “monumental,” just can’t convey.

Change “could be” to “is” and you’ve got your cover for next week.

Both Barack Obama and John McCain will appear during halftime of Monday Night Football, in interviews conducted by “The Swami,” Chris “Back back back back shut the fuck up” Berman. Neither Obama’s Bears nor McCain’s Cardinals are playing tonight as the Pittsburgh Steelers take on the Washington Redskins at 7:30 Central time on ESPN. McCain will be rooting for the home team Redskins, as in every election since 1936, when the Redskins have win their last home game before the election (with the notable exception of 2004) the incumbent party retains the presidency.

Get out them Terrible Towels.