Ok, so let’s be honest. It’s not like we didn’t think this already existed. It’s just now there might be some proof. CNN is reporting that the Bush Administration created a secret, special operations command without Congressional oversight that had the authority to assassinate high-level targets in multiple countries. Cheney and several aids have denied the claim (because, you know otherwise he would be indicted for conspiracy to commit murder).

There is a Simpsons episode in which Lisa becomes President and is offered the opportunity to assassinate Bart, who is causing her political problems. She declines and her Secret Service escort reminds her that each prez gets three secret murders, and if you don’t use them by the end of the term “Zip! They’re gone.” (This was before the invention of roll over minutes). I wonder how many Cheney actually wound up using?

The Fighting Illini Football team has finally done it. No more waiting years for success. Now we have something to brag about. Congratulations to the guys who put in the long hours, through the blood, sweat and tears. And now, without further ado, I give you the finest thing to come out of Illinois football since Red Grange; an inspirational video.

Please just have a winning season…..
Go team go?

Tiger Woods is unbelievable. That may be the understatement of the century, but it is completely true. Tiger has become so good at what he does, we now expect him to make every putt, hit every fairway, make every green in regulation, and damn near eagle every hole. I have played and studied golf for close to 12 years. And in my lifetime, I do not believe I will see another golfer like Tiger. I’m sure everyone said that when Nicklaus was playing, but I believe Tiger is better than Jack ever was. Now, if you wonder why I say that Tiger Woods will never be the same, it is not why you think. I don’t think Tiger will ever be the same Tiger because everything he does now is AFTER reconstructive knee surgery. A year ago, he could barely walk off the tee box. Now he’s coming back from a 5 stroke deficit to win tournaments. Tiger is doing what he has done his entire career. He’s impressing everyone on the tour, every fan watching the game, and every sponsor who is scrambling to find more nickels in the couch just to get their name on his golf bag. For the skeptics out there that don’t give golfers the athletic credit they deserve, try walking miles and miles up and down hill while using your entire body in a golf swing over a hundred times a day. Your body gets tired and keeping your mind sharp and focused on what you’re doing is one of the hardest parts of the game. Tiger is doing all of this with a surgically repaired knee. Tiger is just as good as he was before the surgery, if not better. The fact that everything he does is after major knee surgery is all the more impressive to me. I applaud Tiger for bringing interest back to the sport of golf and bringing fans back to the tour. I can’t wait until he wins the Master’s next month.

Tiger was 5 strokes back to start the day. He was paired up with the leader, and at the end of the day, he put on a clinic for the youngster.

As a Warren alum who knows the perpetual heartbreak of Warren basketball, I weep.

As an Illini fan, I say Hallelujah! Hallelujah, amen!

The shooter at the line was Brandon “Ice Water” Paul, an Illini signee who will be wearing the Orange and Blue next year. The shooter at the (half-court) line was Jereme Richmond, an Illinois verbal commit who will be coming the year after. The more I watch this, the less bummed and the more excited I get.

Oskee Wow-Wow.

P.S. Apologizing for my latest absence, several mid-terms and a dead hard drive later, I’m back.

Yet again, Meghan McCain has brought up another great point. It’s not a new point, nor is it very surprising, but it is definitely true. In her blog, Meghan McCain has come out and said how offensive and insulting Republican “strategist” Ann Coulter comes off. McCain states that “maybe her popularity stems from the fact that watching her is sometimes like watching a train wreck.”

Meghan McCain is slowing moving into the spotlight as a new young Republican who could be looking for political office on a national level. I wonder how here dad feels about all this.

………right……..

I’ve spent the last month reviewing the best movies of 2008. I have seen almost every major movie from the last year, and I’m here to quell your movie reviewing needs. So, without further ado, I give you my Academy Awards.

Best Comedy Picture
And the winner is…
Tropic Thunder

This award needs little explanation. This was one the largest blockbuster films of the year and included the best overall cast of any film, regardless of genre. This film provided excellent humor, surprisingly fantastic acting, a script that rivaled any comedy I’ve ever seen, and quality cinematography that is extremely rare for a comedy. This movie could be in the running for best picture, but I felt that comedies are so different from drama’s that it earned its own category. Thanks Golden Globes for the idea.

Honorable Mentions: Pineapple Express, Role Models, and Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

Best Cinematography
And the winner is….
Australia

My honest opinion of this movie is pretty brutal actually. I did not enjoy the film’s script, acting, or length. The story was mediocre at best. The only thing that allowed me to sit through this entire film was the cinematography. Nicole Kidman’s annoying quirks were overshadowed by beautiful the scenery of Australia. Epic sweeping shots brought a little character to the film and saved the film from being the largest waste of money in 2008 feature films.

Honorable Mentions: The Dark Knight, Slumdog Millionaire

Best Supporting Actor
And the winner is…
Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)

This is another award that doesn’t need reasoning. Ledger’s role was nearly perfect. He brought a debiacle character to life and made every viewer to wonder if his cynical role was the reasoning for his shocking death. Ledger’s Joker was by far the most interesting character of the year, regardless of importance or size. Ledger’s passion for the role came out immediately and only made his death even sadder.

Honorable Mentions: Robert Downey Jr. (Tropic Thunder) and Josh Brolin (Milk)

Best Supporting Actress
And the winner is…
Marisa Tomei (The Wrestler)

Marisa seriously revitalized her career with this role. Playing a stripping single mother is a gutsy role to take on, especially when you know you have the weight of Mickey Rourke’s second chance at an acting career on your shoulders. Marisa is a great character to watch in this film, and you are hoping for the best for her during the entire film. She is a great balance for the abrasive character of Mickey’s and does an excellent job balancing out the film, which also boosts it into my running for best picture.

Honorable Mentions: Taraji P. Henson (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) and Cate Blanchett (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button)

Best Actor in a Leading Role
And the winner is…
Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler)

Mickey wins my vote for best actor, best shit-show turned into an actor, best shit-show turned into an actor turned into a shit-show turned into an actor again. I can’t believe how he screwed up his career so badly when his acting skills are actually phenomenal. His character in The Wrestler is heart wrenching but also inspirational. Nobody could have played this role better than Rourke, and I’m glad. Talent such as his should not have been wasted on so many years of drugs and sin. Good job Mickey.

Honorable Mentions: Brad Pitt (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), Clint Eastwood (Gran Torino) and Sean Penn (Milk)

Best Picture
And the winner is…
The Wrestler

This was by far the hardest award to choose. The Wrestler had stiff competition this year with Slumdog Millionaire and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I think the deciding factor was Mickey Rourke’s resurgence. Also, not to slight Milk in any way, but I didn’t feel that the movie as a whole could compete with the Wrestler or Slumdog. Sean Penn’s performance was great, but the movie lacked a certain emotionality that the Wrestler and Slumdog had. This pick also makes me wonder if my judgment is off because the Academy didn’t even nominate the Wrestler for best picture, and I’m giving it the gold. Oh well, I guess that’s why I’m not in the Academy. Congratulations to The Wrestler, the movie was incredibly put together, included tremendous acting from all characters, and allowed for Marisa Tomei and Mickey Rourke to bring their careers back to life.

Honorable Mentions: Slumdog Millionaire, Milk, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight, Gran Torino

Well, that’s the end. It was a great year for film in my opinion. It was a drama heavy year, but they were all done very well. See you all next year.

DISCLAIMER: This blog will feature extreme generalizations AND political bias. Enjoy.

A recent study claims that online porn is purchased more frequently by people in red states.

Although I’m not one to unquestionably believe in the power of statistics, I will go ahead and say it….

OMG THIS IS SHOCKING!

That’s like telling a knock knock joke at a party…

“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“conservativessometimesrepresstheirsexuality”
“conservativessometimesrepresstheirsexualitywho?”

It’s really starting to seem like the Ted Haggards and Mark Foleys of the world should just be up front about their sexuality. They’ll have to pay for less porn that way.

Then again, who would we bleedin’ heart liberals have to ridicule if they didn’t hide this shit?

He’s probably praying that no one would find out that he doesn’t exactly practice what he preaches