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Cubs raise ticket prices, tell fans, “Chill the fuck out! We’ll get it done THIS century.”

posted by Charlie at 2:31 pm.

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As a Cubs (and Illini) fan, there is very little that can be done, short of involving hot wax and ball gags, to cause me any pain. We’ve been through it all before. But, in true Cubs fashion, they’ve done and gone and fucked us once again. Cubs chairman Crane Kenney recently announced that the Cubs would be raising ticket prices for the 2009 season.

Now, if that doesn’t seem all that bad, let me put it into perspective for you.

A team that hasn’t won a World Series in one hundred (100) years, a team that hasn’t one a post-season game since 2003, a team that has sold out every single game of the last several (and most) seasons, a team that had 20,000 + fans migrate two hours north for “neutral site” games against the Astros, a team that comes from one of the largest media markets in the country, with arguably the largest nationwide fan base after the Yankees and (recently) the Red Sox–this team–decided they weren’t getting enough from the fans, so fuck it, we’re raising ticket prices.

The Tribune Company, soon to be Cuban Enterprises (please God, do me this one fucking favor), will be doing away with the “Value, Regular” and,” Prime” denominations for tickets, replacing them with “Bronze, Silver, Gold” and, “Platinum.” (Someone should tell Michael Phelps to get off his lazy ass and win 8 “Platinum” medals). In essence, 33% of ticket prices will remain the same, and the good seats for the good games go way up. For example, if me, pops, and bro wanted to go to see the Cubs clinch their third straight division title against the Cards in September (please God, do me this one fucking favor), a few hours of sitting on three feet of beer-soaked, green aluminum bleacher will cost us (and by us, I mean pops) $180.

No sports fan should be so naive as to forget that sports are a business, and in order to keep the doors open and the jerseys on the shelves, teams need money. Cubs fans get it. We’re smart. We’re from the North Side, remember? But don’t toss Kerry Wood into the shark tank of free agency because you can’t afford him, and then ratchet up ticket prices.

Cubs fans will put up with a lot. That much has been proven time and time and time and time and time and time again. But don’t start ripping us off. Cubs fans are as loyal as can possibly be. We expect some of that loyalty to come back to us.

Cynic from birth. A true Cubs fan.

Charlie Johnson: Charlie is a student in news/editorial journalism and fully supports changing our national anthem from "The Star-Spangled Banner" to "Go Cubs Go."