There is a saying in Ohio:

“The two most important people in Ohio are the governor and the quarterback for Ohio State.

And the governor is not number one.”

If that’s true, then Terrelle Pryor is the most important person in the state of Ohio. He is (regrettably for an Illini fan) an incredibly talented young quarterback whose collegiate and professional future seem very bright.

He is also black. Which, if you know anything about football, really shouldn’t come as that much of a surprise. There is also another young, promising black American making headlines these days. You might have heard of him.

And the people at this McCain/Palin rally in Strongsville, OH seem like they’re willing to overlook the question of race in the former case, but not the latter.

There are plenty of reasons to vote for McCain (or so I’m told) but one of them is not “because Barack Obama is a one man terror cell,” or because “he’s got the bloodlines and the name [of a terrorist].”

Call me crazy, but does anyone think for one second that republicans would be insinuating that the democratic nominee is a terrorist if he wasn’t black, or if he didn’t have an unusual name?

What would happen if Terrelle Pryor’s mother had named him Terrelle “Hussein” Pryor?

The athlete formerly known as Pacman Jones is at it again.

If you watch Sports Center or pay attention to any sports journalism whatsoever, you’ve probably heard Adam Jones’ name in the news lately.

.

Seriously? Seriously?

Now Pacman Jones is going to rehab.

As interesting as Pacman Jones is as a character in the dramedy that is the NFL, the other Jones in Pacman’s life is more subtly interesting.

Jerry Jones will do anything for love and he WILL do that.

And by love, I mean the Dallas Cowboys. America’s Team. The dynamic Dallas dynasty. Whatever you want to call them, Jerry Jones will pay any price and shirk any sense of ethical decency for the Dallas Cowboys.

Another case in point: Tank Johnson.

Tank Johnson is just that. A tank. When he played for the Chicago Bears, he was part of a defense that included Lance Briggs, Brian Urlacher and Charles Tillman.

A couple of handguns and an ass whoopin or two later, Tank got himself F-I-R-E-D.

Lucky for good ol Terry, Jerry has no problem picking up players with perpetual reps.

I’m all for redemption but it’s really starting to get ridiculous. If this is what “America” is, count me out.

But hey, they could be Bengals.

John McCain is smarter than George Bush.

(Well, that’s no revelation)

In 2001, George Bush “looked Vladimir Putin in the eye” and said, “I was able to get a sense of his soul. He’s a man deeply committed to his country and the best interests of his country and I appreciate very much the frank dialogue and that’s the beginning of a very constructive relationship.”

In the first presidential debate, John McCain said, “I looked into Mr. Putin’s eyes and I saw three things — a K and a G and a B.”

John McCain was right (won’t hear me say that very often).

In yet another instance of then Prez, now Prime Minister Vlad’s quest for world domination, a Russian human rights lawyer, known for defending some of the Kremlin’s harshest critics was poisoned.

Poisoning? Gee, Charlie, that sure sounds familiar…

Viktor Yushchenko

Oh yeah, that…

Between suspicion of the poisonings, the jailing, and the murder, Vladimir Putin seems more and more to resemble this notable Russian:

Source: BBC News, Washington Wire

Back in their hey day, the Beatles received a lot of fan mail. Now that only two are still alive, you can imagine how heavy the Liverpool postman’s satchel might be.

A few days ago, Ringo Starr released a video on his website asking fans to stop sending fan mail after October 20th. Starr will refuse to sign, or even open any fan letters postmarked after the 20th.

If you’ve seen the video, you will wonder how someone can clearly be so irritated while repeating the phrase “peace and love” so frequently? It’s a good thing Marge got hers in before the deadline.

As any good media consumer does, I was trolling CNN for the most important news stories on the most relevant topics.

And then I found…this

Marcia Brady was addicted to cocaine. She went to Hef’s Playboy Mansion parties. More importantly, SHE DATED MICHAEL JACKSON AND STEVE MARTIN.

I don’t tend to use this phrase without irony but WTF?!

As a kid, there was nothing I loved to watch more on television than reruns of The Brady Bunch. This is so true that I even OWNED a Brady Bunch CD full of campy tunes that I absolutely adored.

In her new book, Maureen McCormick says that the root of her problems with depression, drugs and alcohol was the standard of perfection that being Marcia Brady forced her to live up to.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

At first I laughed when I read this article but when I really thought about what is at stake when an actor/actress is completely defined by one role, it made me really sad.

I am the first person to admit that television, movies, music, etc. are all forms of entertainment. Obviously.

But and this is a big but (yeah, yuck it up), actors…wait for it…are…PEOPLE. They are fallible human beings and are, in most cases, not their characters.

I think as a society we outwardly recognize that this is true but if I had seen Maureen McCormick on the street in the early 1970s, I would have thought…”Man, I bet she is sooooo sweet.”

Despite my empathy for Maureen McCormick and all actors who fall prey to the subconscious associations of society, I ain’t buyin’ her book.

Like she says in the article, she has worked long and hard to create a personality outside of Marcia Brady. I’m not about to purchase anything that sends her back to the mental drawing board.

I do, however, sincerely hope that Maureen McCormick and all the readers of The Lowdown have….

A SUNSHINE DAY

Megastar rapper T.I. is scheduled to start serving his one year prison term on federal gun charges shortly. The rapper, whose last three consecutive albums all reached the number one spot, was busted in October of 2007 by federal agents during a sting operation when the rapper was caught attempting to buy machine guns and silencers in Hotlanta.

This is only the most recent in a series of rap superstars running into the wrong side of Johnny Law. DMX has had multiple scrapes, including one where he impersonated a federal officer after crashing a car while in possession of cocaine. Rapper (and apparent Cubs fan) Shyne is still in prison on a ten year bit for reckless endangerment and assault following a nightclub shooting in December of 1999. Lil’ Kim did a bit as well. And of course, who can forget the exploits of Tupac and Biggie Smalls, both of whom were not fortunate enough to escape with only jail time.

Call me a wanksta, or a honky–but someone should tell these guys that after they’re rich and world famous–they can either drop the act, or hire a body guard. When you have such a good thing going, lay off the nose candy. You don’t want to wind up like this:

George Clinton’s Mug Shot

Or like this:

We gotta have some changes.

That’s right, I went there. Why?

On October 8th, on the Minneapolis based The Chris Baker Show, Baker and Perry agreed that Magic Johnson “faked AIDS.”

Let me say that again.

Baker and Perry were in agreement that one of the greatest NBA players in the history of the game, lied about his HIV diagnosis at a time when there was immense social stigma associated with the disease. He retired, leaving behind tens of millions of dollars in salary and endorsements, and a throng of adoring Lakers fans, on a lie.

Unbelievable, right? Believe it.

In light of his diagnosis, Johnson started the Magic Johnson Foundation, which has raised millions of dollars for HIV/AIDS education and supported minority athletes from all over the country.

To sum up:

Chris Baker and Langdon Perry blow. And Magic Johnson has managed to live a fuller life and help more people, even with his HIV diagnosis, than Baker and Perry have probably ever met.

An ongoing series where Mary assesses her level of whiteness according to the latest criterion from the satirical blog Stuff White People Like.

This week: Pea Coats

What Is It? A winter coat worn as an alternative to the North Face jacket. According to Stuff White People Like, where a white person procures their pea coat is just as important as the actual coat. Saying you got it at thrift store is viewed to be cooler than saying your mom bought it for you at a department store, for example.

Why Do White People Like It? “The Pea Coat was originally worn by sailors and members of the European Navy. If you think about it for a second, this means that the coat is European, Coastal, and Vintage. Three of white people’s favorite things,” reports the blog. It also allows Urbana hipsters to not wash their hair, but still have an element of put-togetherness.

Does Mary Like It? Mary owns a Pea Coat. It’s a J. Lo. Her mom bought it for her at a department store.

Verdict: Definitely white.

Find out how white Mary is next week!

Source: Stuff White People Like

No, Sarah Palin would be, “Ice Man,” I think.

Regardless, a Texas family with the last name Maverick has bone to pick the the McCain campaign. The Maverick Family, originally of San Antonio, has taken issue with McCain and Palin’s constant characterization of the senator as a “Maverick.” The word originated when one of the Maverick family’s ancestors opted against branding his cows, leading to unbranded livestock being referred to as “mavericks.” The term eventually came to mean someone who acted independently with no affiliation to a particular party or ideology. While the family has no bone to pick with the television show of same name, Mel Gibson, or Tom Cruise, they do seem peeved that McCain is running all over the place calling himself, “The Original Maverick.” He’s not, they are.

As a Republican candidate for President, you know you have issues when a family of Texas ranchers are pissed off at you. One has to wonder if he should have gone with a less overused campaign handle. Take a look at what other members of the political competition tried out:

Mitt “Viper” Romney
Mike “Jester” Gravel
Hillary “Wolf Man” Clinton

Frankly, I would be worried that all the constant allusions to his military service and use of the word “maverick” would just remind the electorate of this doozy.

Mission Accomplished

The New York Times has an interactive map on their website that has the polling data from every state where victory is not assured for either Obama or McCain. The site also includes an interactive map where the user can make predictions over who will win each state and the good folks at the NYT will save your settings. Check it out and make your predictions. After last night’s debate, here’s mine.

A real contender this year.

I also like the Dodgers in the NL, fyi.