There has been lots of media coverage devoted to the problem of steroids in baseball. But last night, Alexei Ramirez put one on the board for those playing the game clean (probably).

With his White Sox tied against division rivals the Tigers in the bottom of the 6th and the bases loaded, Ramirez hit his 4th grand slam of the year to put the Sox on top by 4 and the game out of reach. A 4 grand slam season, and this dude is built like any tofu chowing Urbana dweller.

Alexei Ramirez

The Sox take on the Twins tonight in a one game playoff at the Cell to see who will be A.L. Central champion. Even though this blogger’s attention is set squarely on the upcoming Cubs/Dodgers series, here’s to Alexei “The Cuban Missile” Ramirez. May your career be long and your biceps remain a normal size.

Alexei Ramirez

Source: White Sox

I’m going to make this short and sweet: Kyle Orton owns some semblance of a suit.

Yes…beastly, savage, animalistic, feral, brutish, Jack Daniels chugging Kyle Orton has worn a tie at some point in his life.

Kyle Orton, I (apparently) barely knew thee

It may or may not have been at his brother’s best friend’s sister’s ex-stepfather’s wedding but Kyle ‘Purdon’t’ Orton once wore something that wasn’t a cut-off Gold’s Gym t-shirt.

Who knew an Express for Men tie, wine glass and a pair of aviators could do so much for a man

Kudos, Kyle Orton. You have changed my life forever and for the better.

Source: Drunk Athlete
Deadspin

Watch out ladies, he’s taken.

That’s right, former American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken has finally (finallyfinallyfinallyfinally) come out of the closet.

Being an independently minded person and someone who has to be contrary just to be contrary, I’ve never been a huge American Idol fan. Needless to say, my lack of fandom for AI also translates to Clay Aiken and pretty much any other American Idols (excluding Fantasia Barrino because of her ‘funny but not supposed to be funny’ Lifetime original movie, Life is Not a Fairy Tale).

Clay Aiken and American Idol jokes aside, I feel like Aiken’s choice to come out is not as interesting as his supposed reason for doing so.

According to the People magazine article that revealed Aiken’s sexual orientation, he claims that he had to come out because “[he could] not raise a child to lie or hide things. [He] wasn’t raised that way and [he] is not going to raise a child to do that.”

*Clap*….*Clap*….*Clap*

That’s my own patronizingly slow clap for Clay Aiken.

While Aiken is not raising his child to be a liar, he is raising his child to understand that money rules the world.

As the People reading world can see, even the most washed up stars warrant some attention for coming out. Isn’t that why Lance Bass tried to go to space?

In all seriousness, Clay Aiken’s decision to come out would be the exact story to necessitate a short blurb in People. However, Aiken has made a very obvious choice to make as much money off of an announcement that can be the most difficult in the life of a non-celebrity.

Luckily for Clay, he and sweet, adorable, HONEST little Parker will be making a shitload of dough off of a very important personal moment.

I’m glad an admittedly down home boy from North Carolina could not only get over his conservative past by coming out of the closet but also, learn how to milk the system like his equally down home neighbors had to milk their cows at 4 in the morning.

Kudos, Clay Aiken. Your honesty has made me hope that one day, I too can sell one of my very personal secrets to People because my career just isn’t what it used to be.

Source: People Magazine
Perez Hilton

Yello, Lowdown readers. It’s me, Mary Frickin’ Z, your newest contributor on the Lowdown. You might know me from my other blog on this site, Triple Entendre. I decided to cheat on Triple Entendre with the Lowdown once it became apparent that the Lowdown was quickly descending into transcriptions of things Sarah and Charlie argue about before bed. That’s right, I went there.

I think it’s important that we all talk about the upcoming election, its nominees, and the huge obligation we all have to vote (for Obama (subliminal message!)). However, it is far more important for us to talk about this.

Ben Folds and Regina Spektor, my two all-time favorite artists, coming together for the good of humanity with the duet “You Don’t Know Me.” With a really jacked-up music video, directed by and starring, Tim and Eric from Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job.

At first I was really disappointed in the track. Seriously, was this all Ben and Regina could come up with? After a few more listens, however, I’ve really warmed up to the song. When you take into account Ben Folds’ recent divorce from his 3rd wife (or was it his 4th wife? So hard to keep track these days…), the song becomes a heart-wrenching tale of a couple’s realization that their relationship is dead, and there is no turning back from this epiphany.

But seriously, what the hell is up with this video?!

Source: Youtube

Katie Couric interviewed Sarah Palin for the prestigious, Emmy winning news magazine “Katie Couric Reports.”

Katie Couric went straight upside Sarah Palin’s head.

It was embarrassing.

Sarah Palin made herself seem so bumblingly incompetent that I am, to some degree, amazed that she managed to find the hockey rink she dropped her kids off at.

Throughout the entire interview she seemed to be in way over her head, skirting calls by Couric to point out specific examples of a variety of different topics. When Couric asked her to qualify what she meant when she said that living in Alaska provided her with foriegn policy experience, she said this:

Watch the whole interview either on Youtube or here. And remember while you watch that this is a woman who only grants the press access to her when she so chooses, so she theoretically should have been incredibly well prepared. My obvious bias aside, watch the interview and ask yourself honestly if this woman is the best candidate for one of the most important offices IN THE WORLD.

Then leave a comment.

Want to know how it took me over a week to complete two five page papers for 200 level classes? That new iTunes visualizer.

It’s called magnet-o-sphere, and it’s gorgeous. Look at that.

Magnetosphere revisited (audio by Tosca) from flight404 on Vimeo.

See? Check that shit out.
And check this shit out. Don’t think that those particles and reflective orbs dancing in space in time to your music are awesome enough on their own?

Make them more intense with + and -. INTENSE.
Add or subtract particles with A and S. SPARSITY/COMPLEXITY.
Reset intensity and particle values with R. START OVER.
Change Modes with M. Hitting N enters NEBULA MODE.

There you go, that’s the prescription for a lot of wasted (pun) time.

Source: Lifehacker

“Why can’t we all just get along?”

Rodney King said that. He said that was after the cops who beat him 3/4 of the way to death were acquitted by an all-white jury. He said that while many of the black citizens of Los Angeles were dragging white truck drivers out of their cabs and beating them 3/4 of the way as well.

It’s a pretty simple question, right? But it’s a far more complex answer.

To underscore how complex and difficult an answer to King’s question may be to find, ponder this:

Today, the first black American to be a legitimate candidate for president will once again take the national stage in the first of a series of debates. It’s pretty amazing to think that this debate will take place at Ole Miss, a university that rioted when the feds tried to integrate it. Where, not five years ago, the mascot was a fucking slave owner named Colonel Rebel.

Col. Rebel

It’s a big step forward, no doubt. But tonight also highlights how fucking backward we still are. Guess who is showing up to the debate?

These guys:

The KKK is planning to show up and distribute literature and membership applications to the crowd in and around the debate tonight, according to Time magazine. And their idiotic ramblings may not fall on deaf ears. Many of the black students at Ole Miss (now 14% of the student body) have reported acts of racism or violence perpetrated against them by white students.

In essence, Barack Obama could be the President of the United States of America, but he would still get a beer can thrown at him if went to the wrong frat party at Ole Miss?

Why can’t we all just get along? It’s a long story, Rodney.

Source: http://www.time.com/time/politics/article/0,8599,1844872,00.html?cnn=yes

http://www.cnn.com/?refresh=1

The end of September and beginning of October mean two things in my mind: terrible television pilots and the Cubs swiftly falling out of contention.

Fortunately, one of these fall staples is patently untrue (GO CUBS GO) and the other can be easily avoided this October.

With the woes of pilots like the Geico Caveman show and anything starring Dana Carvey in the last two decades, television often has little to offer at the beginning of the season.

For those Comcast subscribers that are lucky enough to have Showtime (or get it for free like I do), this Sunday might mean a little something to you.

Coming off of a season of Weeds that blew the past season away, the tales of that homicidal heart of gold, Dexter Morgan, return this Sunday, September 28th at 8 pm.

This isn’t a spoiler site, so I won’t tell you what happened in Season 2 but feel free to cuddle up by my laptop with me this weekend if you missed it.

Spoiler: I will tell you this shocking tidbit: MICHAEL C. HALL RETURNS FOR SEASON 3 AS THE TITULAR CHARACTER.

I know, shocking.

The part about Dexter that I find particularly shocking is that I can find a man so attractive in one show and so unattractive in another. Dexter= gingery babe. Michael C. Hall as David Fisher in Six Feet Under=not.so.much.

Unfortunately, I can’t think of a way to finish this off with some quip like “kill or be killed”. Fortunately, unlike Dexter’s prey, I don’t need to.

Source: Wikipedia
Showtime

As October approaches, baseball becomes literally the most important thing the world.

IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

Although, apparently, not everyone agrees. Baseball, once America’s most popular sport, our national pastime, has taken a bit of a slide in the ratings department. Even though it’s still part of the big three (football, basketball, and baseball) over the last decade, stickball has slipped a bit to basketball and a lot to football in terms of television ratings and in many cities, attendance.

Lately, however, Major League Baseball headed by Commisioner Bud Selig (who rivals Tom Brady in the looks department) has been mounting a bit of a comeback, attracting more fans and television viewers the world over.

The reason:

Baseball is hip, again. No. Not hip like American Bandstand or Chuck Taylors were in the 60’s, but hip:

Welcome to Brooklyn.

The transition is easy to understand. At what other sporting event can you buy Old Style and PBR tall boys? In what other sport but baseball do players take the field and stand for hours, hands on hips, looking intensely non-chalant? Football is too agressive, and basketball just requires too much damn running. Soccer gives baseball a run for its money, but everyone knows the only good football is in England. Just look at all the ironic facial hair:

Jason Giambi

Reed Johnson

Many baseball managers seem to have hopped on the bandwagon as well with their sleek new specs:

Joe Maddon, Tampa Bay Rays

Jerry Manuel, New York Mets

The beard scruff sporting, girl jeans buying, fixed gear bike riding influence of hipsterdom seems to even have influenced one of the oldest of the old guard, the ex Yankee, now L.A. Dodgers manager, Joe Torre.

Is he wearing a scarf in L.A.?

Though this is not to say that this a bad thing. Does anyone really want to go back to the old days?

The old days.

Just don’t be surprised if Joe Girardi endorses Parliament cigarettes and team color keffiyehs become hot items on Craigslist.

source: http://media.www.uwtledger.com/media/storage/paper642/news/2003/12/04/Sports/Top-Five.Popular.Sports.In.America-576965.shtml

Hi, my name is Sarah and I like sports.

Not only do I like sports, I even know a little about them. I know enough about sports that I don’t just stop with real sports.

I am wont to Stone Cold Stunner someone without provocation (and with proper technique!).

In short, I can bro-down.

Hard.

Recently, my love of sports and my brobilities helped me venture into a land that is seldom seen by two X chromosomes: Fantasy Football.

My ESPN login name: The Only Gurl. My ESPN team name: Urbana Hipsters.

As a naturally competitive person, I immediately figured out that Fantasy sports were my jam. Also contributing to my newly found love of Fantasy Football: I’M BEATING MY BOYFRIEND WHO IS A BOY.

As if to pour more salt into his wounds, he was the person who invited me into the league.

And speaking of salt…I was supposed to set out chicken a few weeks ago for a meal that he was kind enough to prepare for me. The following is a reproduction of a conversation from that night:

Charlie: Hey Sarah, you home?
The Only Gurl: (yelling) Yeah, I’m in my room
Charlie: Oh hey, did you set that chicken out?
The Only Gurl: Yeah, this afternoon.
Charlie: Sarah, you know you have to set out frozen chicken like…the night before or early in the morning in order for it to be defrosted for dinner. What are you doing anyway?
The Only Gurl: Oh shit, guess I didn’t know that. Yeah…I’m…(pause)(pause)(pause)(hangs head in shame)…draftinganotherFantasyFootballteam.
Charlie: Shoe’s on the other foot now, huh?

And…scene.

Ladies who are brave enough to enter the patriarchal world of Fantasy Football, let this be a lesson. Never let Fantasy Football come between you and defrosted chicken.

Source: Youtube