Somehow, I tricked Buzz editor Stephanie and managing editor Evangeline into giving me a column in the Buzz, and during a weak moment, they caved. The first one appeared in today’s issue, so make sure to pick it up to see the awkward photo of me that ran alongside it. Or, you can read it below:
Awkward City, Population 1
What, You Though You Could Get Rid of Me?
Apr. 03, 2008 - by Carlye Wisel – Buzz writer
Hello! My name is Carlye. “Welcome to the Awkward City, Population 1,” the print supplement to my eponymous blog on The217.
Instead introducing myself to you through a descriptive chain of phrases that would most likely include the words “sarcastic,” “obnoxious,” “former music editor” and “always hungry,” I turned the tables and polled some of my most truthful compadres in order to provide you with a more objective outlook. Here’s what they said:
“To know you is to be unjustifiably belittled by you.”
“Your thumbs are fucking weird … it’s like the nails are too small for the finger.”
“The human incarnation of banana breath if banana breath had bad taste in music.”
“You’re a hipster music elitist. You’re also kind of a tramp.”
I clearly surround myself with sweethearts.
I also have no idea what I’m going to write in this space. Will I complain about how The Bread Company wouldn’t serve me a sandwich, even though it’s on their newly printed dinner menu? Unjustifiably belittle every girl on campus for dressing like sweatpants-clad robots? Maybe. Probably, actually, since I just did. But there are two things on this week’s agenda, both of which are dope:
1. Meth Ads. I know, I griped about these in last week’s buzz, but then I saw another. And another. And another. And now, they’re unsettling for a different reason. These same buses, smeared with advertisements about how easily corruptible and irresponsible their target young adult audience can be, drive past us on the Quad and transport us to campus buildings on days when we’re trying to bust our asses to get notes down, do well on midterms and be as responsible and mature as we possibly can. It’s pathetically ironic that a vehicle I take in order to be on time for my ARTH 446 lecture carries a message specifically marketed to me, a student, about how I’m so careless that I could easily lose my virginity in a condemned bathroom because of a drug.
2. This week’s concerts. There’s a big hip-hop show at Canopy, the Local Music Awards and a multi-band charity show at Memphis on Main tonight, Straylight Run (opening for The Used) on Sunday, Cursive on Monday, Bon Iver on Wednesday, and Caribou with Fuck Buttons on Thursday. Sheesh. If you are a teacher of mine and are reading this, please, PLEASE drop this week’s quiz grades.
If you know how to pronounce Bon Iver’s name, please contact Carlye at awkcity@gmail.com
Carlye Wisel: if sarah silverman, stacy london, buster bluth and ari gold had a love child, it would be me.
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Carlye Wisel
if sarah silverman, stacy london, buster bluth and ari gold had a love child, it would be me.