A strange, older-looking grad student set his eyes (and hands and lips) on Gillman today, and wouldn’t let go. Read her frightening first-person account of what can happen when sitting on the Quad goes wrong:
so i was sitting next to the undergrad reading and i saw a shadow sit down to my right.
i looked over and there was a foreign-looking older guy sitting next to me, looking at me.
he started to small talk about what i was reading, asked me what my major was, and was generally the most awkward person i’d ever met.
i asked him the same questions and he said he was a mechanical engineering grad student from boston.
then after terrible awkward small talk for 10 minutes he said “i have to see you soon in the future” and i didnt know what he meant. so, he asked if he could get my email address or my phone number.
i jubilantly replied that email would be great, only to be shot down with an “i’d prefer your phone number” bit.
so being not-so-smart with creepers i gave him my number and got up to leave for class.
he stood up with me. problem number one.
then he asked me if i had any “friends”. it was at this point that i started looking around to see if it was a
dare or something. so i said that yes, indeed i do have a few friends.
“special friends?” oh, he meant boyfriend i guess.
so i told him that i was interested in some guy to get the creeper off my back and he replied with “what about me?”
i calmed down for a second and replied that i thought he was a very nice guy and i was glad i met him, but i had to go to class.
he started creeping in closer.
creepy dude: can i ask you one question?
me: fine, what is it?
creeper: can i have a kiss?
me: NO no no no no I don’t do that.
he proceeded to try to dodge in for my cheek. as i shoved him off i exclaimed that this was simply not gonna happen.
no fucking way.
i looked around for hidden cameras. where the hell is ashton kutcher?
he tried to put his arm around me.
got shoved off.
he tried to hold my hand.
got shoved away.
all the while i was telling him im not like this and it wasnt going to happen.
i started to walk towards my class and he followed the ENTIRE way, trying to touch me and telling me he thought i was wonderful.
i ducked into the nearest school building and yelled adios.
this is why i cant read on benches anymore.
Carlye Wisel: if sarah silverman, stacy london, buster bluth and ari gold had a love child, it would be me.
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Carlye Wisel
if sarah silverman, stacy london, buster bluth and ari gold had a love child, it would be me.