Somewhere in the realm of 4 months ago, I made an impulse purchase, as I am often wont to do when meandering past GameStop out at the mall. Sadly, I have very little impulse control when it comes to clearance bins filled with video games, and they put the damn thing front and center right outside the door. Damn you, Gamestop! But I digress.

On this particular day, I ended up buying Wii Fit… partly because I wanted to try out the Balance Board, and partly because I had some company coming to visit the next weekend, and I knew they’d get a kick out of it. Suffice it to say, I played with my new toy for a few weeks, eventually got bored with the mini-games, and put it away.

About a week ago, after being reminded that I still had the thing to begin with, I dug it out again, and an idea occurred to me. Realistically speaking… just how effective is a game as a fitness coach?

Now, I’m the first to admit, I’m about as lazy as they come. But, all other things being equal, if I dedicated, oh say, 30 minutes a day to actually using Wii Fit, rather than just playing the mini-games and doing yoga poses, what sort of effect would it have on my slothful, slothful self?

Well, I’m going to find out. And since I’ve been indescribably bad about keeping this blog updated lately, you’re going to find out with me. So welcome to Wii Fit Wednesdays. In these posts, I’ll be keeping track of my losses and gains until such time as I get sick of this damn thing again and shove it back in the closet (my coworkers may feel free to start a betting pool on how long that’ll take).

To get things started, here are my first week’s results… and no, I’m not posting my actual weight…

Well… not a bad start. A total loss of 3.1 pounds, and I finished with a Wii Fit Age of 24 (just for for reference… I’m 28). Of course, next week brings with it my greatest obstacle. Halloween Candy.

Remember that game bill that Blagojevich signed into law back in 2005? The one that was ruled unconstitutional and resulted in taxpayers having to foot the bill when the state was ordered to pay $500,000 in attorney fees to the ESA in addition to the $500,000 in attorney fees for the state of Illinois itself?

Yeah… it’s back, courtesy of Illinois Rep. Robert W. Pritchard (R), one of the vocal individuals who was blaming the NIU shootings on video games.

He’s not trying to push through a bill with similar objectives, or fix the problems with the old one. He’s trying to amend legislation that was declared unconstitutional three years ago. Specifically, the amendments target “sexually explicit” video games (the proposed amendments can be view here).

I’m not exactly a legal expert, but apparently, laws held to be unconstitutional are still on the books, even though they are unenforceable. So, beyond the obvious vie for attention to his “cause”, what’s the point of this? And how much is it going to cost us this time?

Alright, Ubisoft has hit a new low, even for them. And before you ask, no this is not a Photoshop job gone horribly wrong… it’s real cover art for a real game.

Imagine: Party Babyz (Why, God? Why?) is coming in late October. Personally, I think the entire Imagine series is pretty god-awful, but this is a whole new level of stupid.

Like essentially the whole series, Party Babyz is little more than a collection of themed mini-games. This set includes such favorites as Red Light, Green Light, and one wherein you must feed your baby as many bottles as possible within the time limit (Overfeed the Baby?).

And of course you will be able to customize your baby, GATTACA-style.

Ubisoft, please just do us all a favor and go back to working on Beyond Good & Evil 2… before your developers finally crack and kill themselves. Seriously, do you guys just sit around playing Mad Libs to come up with these games?

Collider.com has posted an interview with John Davis, producer of the in-the-works Sims movie, and frankly, I’m not all that impressed with what he has to say on the subject (and not just because his rambling is a touch hard to understand at times).

Not that I expect a whole heck of a lot from movies based on video games, but still…

Annnnnnnnnd freeze. Really? Can it be? The Sims Infinity Pack? Not only a gimicky and remarkably convenient plot device, but also contrived and overdone. Thumbs up, pal.

Moving on.

Hey, wait… Is this starting to sound familiar to anyone else?

*face plam*

So now The Sims is an adventure movie. Please just stop. Seriously, just stop.

This is Bob…

Yikes.

Now, I heard rumors of a Sims movie ages ago. Personally, I pictured a comedy… because god knows Sims families are more than dysfunctional enough to be absolutely hilarious.

To be honest, I had pictured the typical Sims family moving into a real world neighborhood, complete with unknown invisible force from beyond directing their every move as the “normal” neighbors look on, trying to figure out why these people feel the need to trap themselves in doorless rooms, electrocute themselves with the industrial strength bug zapper, and wet themselves on a regular basis.

The father would, of course, be played by Bob from the Enzyte commercials.

Maybe that’s just me.