Yes, I know this is a gaming blog, but I’m writing a book report anyway. So…. you remember that Metal Gear Solid book that came out awhile back?

Let me tell you, it was pretty corny. Granted, I wasn’t really expecting much from something that tries to condense a 40 hour video game into a scant 336 pages. Unfortunately, it was a lot worse that I’d thought it would be… not only because it reads like a transcript of the game (right down to the phrase “his trademark punch-punch-kick combo” being used more times than I cared to count), but also because it really didn’t give much life to any of the characters.

I guess if you just wanted to brush up on the story, it’s fine… although some of the additions the author makes are entirely unnecessary… like the gratuitous mention of the 9/11 attacks, which had nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of the dialog on that page, or the cheesy jokes that were thrown in at random.

The novel seems to be written very much for readers who are too lazy to play the game all the way through. The author might just as well have written a walkthrough for the game and posted it to gameFAQs.com. You can literally tell where every cutscene, every boss battle, and every shift in gameplay occurs… mostly because there is no smooth transition between any of them. One moment Snake is sneaking around, the next, a boss is challenging him, and then they fight.

It also suffers from one of my biggest pet peeves in literature. “Intelligent”-sounding words that aren’t especially common in everyday language (or even in popular literature, for that matter), thrown in, seemingly at random… usually during an inner monolog or description of action being taken or planned. A couple times I actually had to go back and reread a sentence because the use of language was just so odd and out of place for the tone of the story at that point.

In the end, I made it through the book (which wasn’t really that much of an effort… 336 pages is short to begin with, and it has large print) before I made it through the game (I’d started MGS about a week before the book arrived). The book could have been halfway decent, if the author hadn’t written it from the game almost directly. I do realize there’s a significant level of difficultly involved in novelizing something that is primarily visual, like a movie or a video game, but this one was just poorly done in so many respects that it’s hardly worth the effort unless you don’t plan on ever playing MGS but need to know the plot for some reason.

Damn you Square-Enix. You do this to me every time… I’m busy playing one game, and then you go and release something new, and said game instantly begins collecting dust on my game shelf (in this case, Dead Rising is the poor unfortunate). It happened with Final Fantasy XII, it happened with Crisis Core, and now, of course, it’s happened with My Life as a King.

My Life as a King is available as WiiWare from the Wii Shop Channel for a somewhat pricey 1500 Wii Points (it’s actually the most expensive off all the U.S. WiiWare launch titles), and I’ll be honest… I’m cheap. If it hadn’t had the Final Fantasy moniker, I probably would have passed.

The first thing you might notice when and if you download Square-Enix’s first foray into WiiWare is that Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King is *gasp* not an RPG. Apparently they can make other kinds of games over there in Sephiroth-ville. No, My Life as a King is, in fact, a civilization simulator in which you are a king and you must rebuild your kingdom.

That’s not to say the standard Final Fantasy gloss hasn’t been put on this game. Even though it is a sim, it still sort of has the feel of an RPG. There is a battle system, even though you yourself don’t do any battling, and there is an engrossing (if somewhat simple for the franchise) plot that is revealed gradually through cutscenes that seem to come up about once a month (game time, obviously) or so.

To be honest, the first few days in your kingdom are a little boring. You spend a fair amount of time talking to Chime, your chancellor, whom you summon to your side by ringing a bell. Chime is in charge of the command menu, and will help you build, boost morale of your citizens, and tell you when it’s time to go to bed. Things are linear, you have almost nothing to work with, no one to talk to, and you’re stuck in tutorial city learning how to do the fun stuff but not really doing much of it.

And then the fun begins. Once you pick up the necessary fundamentals, you have a lot more freedom, and things get a lot more interesting. Instead of just doing what the game dictates, you can begin to commission adventurers, send them out to fight monsters, and build new structures to bring in more people to get more money to hire more adventurers to fight more monsters, and so on and so forth.

Initially, the days are short, cash is low, and buildings are limited (all you can build at first is one kind of very simple house). What really makes this game work for me is the desire to find more stuff. You know there’s stuff out there to unlock and you want it, damn it, so you start sending people out to unlock it.

Half the fun of the game, like many sims, is trying to keep up with the needs of the people. The adventuring system adds a nice touch, because in addition to keeping your adventurers in good spirits, you must also make sure they’re trained well enough to complete the the dungeons you send them to, make weapons and other equipment available to them, and ensure that they have time to rest. Things may start out slow, but they pick up quickly, and soon you have a lot of people who need bakeries, and parks, and sharp, pointy swords.

My Life as a King is also the first (and currently the only) WiiWare title to utilize the Pay to Play feature, which allows you to download additional (but optional) content for the game. There are already a number of options currently available:

1. Dungeon Pack (300 Wii Points) - adds 11 new dungeons to the game

2. Lilty Hut (300 Wii Points) - adds dungeons to unlock houses for Lilties

3. Selkie Den (300 Wii Points) - adds dungeons to unlock houses for Selkies

4. Yuke Shack (300 Wii Points) - adds dungeons to unlock houses for Yukes

5. Triple Race Pack (800 Wii Points) - combines the Lilty Hut, Selkie Den, and Yuke Shack content into one, slightly discounted download.

6. New Royal Outfit (100 Wii Points) - a new costume for the king

7. New Chancelor Outfit (100 Wii Points) - a new costume for Chime

8. Luxurious House (100 Wii Points) - unlocks a new house style that greatly increases income.

9. Sacred Shrines (200 Wii Points) - unlocks Shrines, which temporarily boost your adventures’ stats.

The nice thing about My Life as a King is that you can pick it up and play it for ten or fifteen minutes, or you can sit and play for 3 hours at a time, depending on what kind of mood you happen to be in.

The downsides? Well, for one thing, there’s a lot of repetition. For the most part you’re really just doing the same series of actions over and over to unlock more content and advance further into the game… but then that’s true of just about every sim I’ve ever played (which is probably why I don’t often get into them). For me, though, the story and the adventuring system somewhat make up for the repetitive nature of the game.

On the whole, it’s by no means my favorite Final Fantasy title, but it’s still fun and strangely addictive. I give it an overall 7 out of 10.

So I just happened to pick up a little game called Mario Kart Wii (Yeah, ok, fine… I had it on preorder for over a month). I’m still not convinced that the series will ever surpass the greatness that is Mario Kart 64, but Mario Kart Wii comes damn close.

Let’s start with the courses. There are lots of them… 32 of them, to be exact, not counting the battle mode courses. Not only is there a plethora of all new speedways, there are also revamped retro tracks from the previous games. Many of the new courses (and some of the retro ones) have “hidden” paths that can either help or hinder you position in the race, and I think there are more places to go careening into a bottomless pit than ever before. Either that or I’m just a horrible driver.

All the old favorites are back in the drivers’ seats, and so are a few new additions, including Funky Kong, Rosalina from Mario Galaxy, and baby versions of Mario, Luigi, Peach (my favorite right now), and Daisy. A number of them have to be unlocked by playing a certain number of races, or ranking high enough in a given cup.

In addition to the unlockable characters, there is also a host of unlockable vehicles, of both the kart and motorcycle variety. There are also some new items making their way onto the track, like the POW Block and the Thunder Cloud.

Things I like about the game?

For one, the Wii Wheel. I wasn’t sure about this when I first saw it, but after giving it a try, it actually makes steering a lot more intuitive. I’ve found myself a lot less likely to oversteer as I have in past Mario Kart Games, even though I’m sure I look like a complete idiot using the thing.

The mid-air stunts are a nice touch, too. Pull one off, and you get a small speed boast. You can also do wheelies on the bikes.

Oh, and the new version of the Rainbow Road track is truly awesome.

Things I don’t like?

Well, actually not much. About the only thing that really aggravates me is the frequency with which disabling items like lightning bolts, bloopers, and blue shells hit you in the solo grand prix mode. In fact I once got hit by all three literally one right after the other and was dropped back to 12th place on the final lap. *shakes fist at game*

I also had some issues with the online mode, but I have a sneaking suspicion that has to do with my wireless connection (which I hope to rectify soon, as apparently there is going to be an online tournament… anyone know why my Wii keeps dropping the connection after about 2 minutes?), not the game itself.

You definitely want to pick this one up. It may or may not have surpasses Mario Kart 64, but it easily blows Double Dash out of the water.

It took me longer than I thought it would, but I finally made it through Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII. And I’m very happy to report that it managed to live up to my expectations, unlike a certain other entry in the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.

The game itself is a prequel to Final Fantasy VII, chronicling the events during the five years that lead up to the original story. Crisis Core follows Zack, Soldier 1st class, and Cloud’s friend and mentor. Spoilers follow, so if you’re still in the middle of the game, or haven’t started it yet and don’t want to hear them, stop reading now.

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Today’s hidden gem: Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros’ Treasure
Released 2007 by Capcom for Wii

Why haven’t more people heard of this game?

Zack & Wiki is a point and click puzzle game, that was seriously overlooked when it was released and hasn’t fared much better since. Of course that might have had something to do with the fact that it came out just two weeks prior to Mario Galaxy. It didn’t get a lot of attention at the time.

The premise of the game is that Zack, a chocolate-guzzling pirate, and Wiki, his flying monkey companion, are on a quest to find the lost treasure of the famed-pirate Barbaros. Instead, they stumble upon Barbaros himself… or at least his gold-encrusted disembodied head… who promises them everything they want and more if they can just reunite the pieces of his body (which, naturally, are made of gold and jewels… otherwise this would just be gross).

The object is to progress through the world map by solving the puzzle in each level in order to reach the chest that contains a piece of Barbaros’ body. You do this by picking up, manipulating, altering, and using various items scattered around the level. Different Wii-remote gestures cause different reactions, and some levels have multiple solutions, making some of them quite challenging. And for the completists out there, there are dozens of collectibles to find throughout the game to complete a number of albums.

The game is single player, but I actually found it to be immensely entertaining to play with a group, trading off the Wii-remote off every level. It’s fun to help out the person who’s playing the level. It’s even more fun to laugh at them hysterically when they’re not seeing the obvious solution.

You can even play a demo level online (click the Gameplay tab to get to it)… but I think it loses something without the full Wii-remote experience.

Well, today was the day I was planning on reviewing Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII. I figured two weeks would be more than enough time for me to get through the main storyline of the game and be able to offer an opinion on its merits. What I didn’t budget for in my little timeline was the fact that the damn game is on the PSP. I now vividly remember exactly why I stopped playing with my GameBoy all those years ago.

Don’t get me wrong, Crisis Core has a great story (what I’ve seen of it thus far, anyway…), and Kingdom Heart-esque combat, which I greatly enjoy… but staring at that tiny little screen gives me a splitting headache. Every time. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I’m barely halfway through the game, because I can’t play for more than an hour or so at a time without feeling like someone is trying to drive a stake into my skull.

It really aggravates me because I can sit back and play console games for hours on end with no ill effects. I finished the main storyline and a good portion of the sidequests of Final Fantasy XII in a little under two weeks, and clocked in at 87 hours of play time when all was said and done. In Crisis Core, I’m at about the 11 hour mark right now, and not for lack of desire to play.

So I finally broke down and spent more of my hard-earned money on the cable to connect my PSP to my TV. Damn handhelds.

I’m a bargain hunter at heart, so when feeding my gaming habit, I spend a lot of time going through the clearance bins and other used games. And in the process, I’ve come across a fair few older titles that I’d never even heard of up until I stumbled upon them.

Today’s hidden gem: Kya: Dark Lineage
Released 2003 by Atari for PS2

Kya: Dark Lineage is an action-adventure/platformer following the adventures of a girl named Kya on her quest to find her brother and rescue a tribe of creatures called Natvis from an evil sorcerer named Brazul.

I like this game for a variety of reasons. First, playing as a female protagonist is nice. And yes, I know, there are a lot more games out there nowadays in that respect than there used to be, but they’re still badly outnumbered by those with male protagonists… and quite frankly, every once in awhile, I enjoy playing as my own gender for a change. Is that so wrong?

Second, and more importantly than reason #1, it’s a good game. Kya is a solid title, with a selection of gameplay options. It’s part stealth, part platformer, part combat, and part downhill speed and freefall courses. The hand to hand combat is easy to learn and challenging to master, and the occasional puzzle requires you to put a little thought into the game rather than just button mashing.

Now on to the downsides… first, and foremost, the camera is occasionally a little cumbersome, which is a complaint attributed to many otherwise excellent games. For the most part, it’s a problem that can be mostly ignored, but every now and then, it really grates on your nerves, especially in tight spaces. My other qualm with this game is its cliffhanger ending, and unfortunately, there is no followup to the game, so you’re essentially left wondering.

In the end, though, you really can’t beat the value you get for the price on Kya. Used (and even the occasional new copy), it has a price range around $4.99 to $11.99.

This is that part of the blog where I show my age and go on about the amazing games I used to play back when I was a wee babe. You know… back in the day when 8-bit was still awesome beyond belief and 16-bit was mind-blowingly state of the art.

This week’s game: Maniac Mansion
Released in 1987 for Nintendo Entertainment System

Ahh… The joys of point-and-click adventures. And this one was the epitome of them back in the day. Multiple characters, each with their own attributes (and theme music), multiple endings, and multiple ways of progressing through the game.

The whole premise was that Dave’s girlfriend, Sandy, had been kidnapped by the denizens of a creepy mansion. So rather than calling the cops like any normal person, Dave enlists the help of several variously talented pals to get his girl out of there. The task set before the player is to navigate the house undetected, cooperatively use a party of three to rescue the girl, and defeat the evil talking meteor behind the whole mess.

Nuke it! Nuke it good!

The catch is that not all the characters have the same abilities… meaning that a method of progressing that might work for one party will not necessarily work for another party. Tack on tasks that can only be completed at certain times during the game, several red herrings, and a really annoying purple tentacle, and you’ve got yourself a nice little challenge.

You can also microwave a hamster.

So if you’re into old school games, and haven’t played this (first of all, where the heck have you been?) give it a try. You can find used copies a-plenty on teh intrawebz.

I’ve been playing Super Smash Bros Brawl this week. A lot.

It’s managed to take precedence over the the other two games I’ve been steadily working my way through recently. It’s not all that unusual for me to be mid-game in anywhere from 2 to 4 different titles at any given time, but there’s just something so patently fun about a new Smash Bros game that I’ve all but dropped everything else for the moment so I can finish Subspace Emissary Mode on SSBB.

One thing I’m a little disappointed about though, is that the developers chose not to take advantage of the Wii remote’s motion sensing abilities. Close combat using the motion sensors worked very well in Twilight Princess… why could this not be utilized in SSBB? And will this become the standard for future Wii fighting games?

It’s true that you can enable SOME motion sensing for the nunchuck attachment, in which shaking the nunchuck can perform a Shake Smash… but it’s not enabled by default, and seems very tacked-on.

Additionally, the Wii Remote itself is not really all that conducive to last-generation style gameplay. It’s just not comfortable to use NES-style (which is supposedly the intended method), and even when using the nunchuck add-on in SSBB, a few important buttons are hard to hit without stretching. I’m sorely tempted to try it with my old GameCube controller, and see how I fare. It really feels like it’s a game designed for a more standard controller.

That minor let-down aside, SSBB is still a fantastic and addictive addition to the Smash Bros. franchise, and I’ll be playing it for weeks to come. I just wish they’d done more to bring it into the current generation, and make it feel like it was really intended for the Wii. On the whole, the core gameplay hasn’t really changed much at all from it’s N64 and GameCube days.