As often as it’s in the news anymore, I’m seriously starting to wonder whether or not that’s anything left that hasn’t been patented. Sony’s been sued over patent issues with their controllers, and with their Blu-Ray technology, Microsoft got slapped with a suit over XBOX Live, and Nintendo’s had their share as well.

Well Nintendo’s got one more to deal with now, courtesy of Rockford, Illinois resident John R. Martin. GamePolitics is reporting that the complaint filed by Mr. Martin is suspected to be related to the Nintendo DS’s touchscreen technology, though no product is mentioned by name, and the patent in question was filed in August 2005… nearly a year after the release of the Nintendo DS.

Hit up GamePolitics for the official complaint and patent filing.

Don’t you just love patent trolls?

Square Enix released a new trailer today for their Final Fantasy mash-up fighting title, Dissidia: Final Fantasy (coming eventually to a PSP near you). In addition to some new character reveals, the trailer also show 2008 as the release window for the game… at least in Japan. It’s anyone’s guess when it will make it stateside. Check out the trailer at GameTrailers.com

It took me longer than I thought it would, but I finally made it through Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII. And I’m very happy to report that it managed to live up to my expectations, unlike a certain other entry in the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.

The game itself is a prequel to Final Fantasy VII, chronicling the events during the five years that lead up to the original story. Crisis Core follows Zack, Soldier 1st class, and Cloud’s friend and mentor. Spoilers follow, so if you’re still in the middle of the game, or haven’t started it yet and don’t want to hear them, stop reading now.

Read the rest of this entry »

Well, today was the day I was planning on reviewing Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII. I figured two weeks would be more than enough time for me to get through the main storyline of the game and be able to offer an opinion on its merits. What I didn’t budget for in my little timeline was the fact that the damn game is on the PSP. I now vividly remember exactly why I stopped playing with my GameBoy all those years ago.

Don’t get me wrong, Crisis Core has a great story (what I’ve seen of it thus far, anyway…), and Kingdom Heart-esque combat, which I greatly enjoy… but staring at that tiny little screen gives me a splitting headache. Every time. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I’m barely halfway through the game, because I can’t play for more than an hour or so at a time without feeling like someone is trying to drive a stake into my skull.

It really aggravates me because I can sit back and play console games for hours on end with no ill effects. I finished the main storyline and a good portion of the sidequests of Final Fantasy XII in a little under two weeks, and clocked in at 87 hours of play time when all was said and done. In Crisis Core, I’m at about the 11 hour mark right now, and not for lack of desire to play.

So I finally broke down and spent more of my hard-earned money on the cable to connect my PSP to my TV. Damn handhelds.

For some reason I’ve come across more bizarre games than I usually do on a daily basis today, so here’s a quick look at them, for your entertainment.

Zombie BBQ
Platform: Nintendo DS
Publisher: Gammick
Developer: Enjoy Up
Genre: Shooter
Coming In: October 2008

Synopsis: Little Red Riding Hood (no, really…) must fight evil zombies (seriously…) to save a fairy tale land (so not kidding…). Bonus: one piece of official artwork depicts a scythe-wielding zombie-pig. It’s described as a shooter that uses the DS stylus for targeting. I guess the BBQ part comes when you get yourself a flamethrower…

Bus Driver
Platform: Windows PC
Publisher: SCS Software
Developer: SCS Software
Genre: Driving Sim
Coming in: Available now

Synopsis: All the heart-stopping, mind-blowing action packed excitement of… driving a bus. That’s pretty much it here. You pick up passengers, and you drive them along 30 different routes. Whilst obeying traffic rules. Without upsetting them. You even have your choice of 12 different kinds of buses!

Chicken Shoot
Platform: Wii
Publisher: Destination Software
Developer: DSI Games
Genre: Shooter
Coming in: Available now

Synopsis: Grab you Wii Remote and shoot some chickens. In Chicken Shoot, you do pretty much what the title implies… You help a farmer obliterate his fowl. Thankfully this game is meant to be a little weird.

Last Flight
Platform: Wii (WiiWare)
Publisher: Blobber Team
Developer: Blobber Team
Genre: Hack and Slash
Coming in: Late 2008/Early 2009… if you’re in Japan

Synopsis: The WiiWare section of the U.S. Wii Shop Channel is pretty lame at the moment, but the Japanese sector has got some pretty nifty game downloads (we’re supposed to start seeing the same in May over here). Coming later this year for them is Last Flight, a Wii downloadable game in which food critic Larry Adelman must fight vampires. On a plane.

Wherein we take a look at this week’s releases. And I’m definitely looking forward to this week, because I finally get to play Crisis Core. Yay!

PSP

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII - Feeding my required Final Fantasy fix, Crisis Core will be released on the 25th. A prequel to the original game, and starring the much loved but little seen Zack Fair, the Crisis Core is an action RPG that covers the period of time leading up to the events at Nibelheim five years prior to FFVII. Combat is a combination of skill and luck, with the randomly determined “Digital Mind Wave” bonus popping up every now and then. I’ve had this on pre-order for months. Hopefully, it won’t turn out to be another Dirge of Cerberus.

Warriors Orochi - A crossover between the Dynasty Warriors series and Samurai Warriors series, Warriors Orochi is the PSP port of the PS2 title of the same name. It combines various gameplay elements of both Dynasty Warriors 5 and Samurai Warriors 2, and boasts a whopping 77 playable characters to choose from. I can’t say I’ve ever been a fan of either series, so I can’t really offer much of an opinion on this one.

XBox 360 and PS3

Dark Sector (360 | PS3) - A third person shooter with a rather apocalyptic scenario, Dark Sector places you in the role of a covert operative inadvertently infected by an enemy with the Technocyte Virus. The resulting mutations give him superhuman powers, in particular the ability to grow a three-bladed throwing weapon from his arm. The game features solo and multiplayer modes, as well as online multiplayer combat.

Viking: Battle for Asgard (360 | PS3) - In Viking: Battle for Asgard, you must stop a banished goddess from wiping out humanity with her army of resurrected vikings. The player take on the role of a young warrior named Skarin, chosen by the gods. Primarily a hack and slash title, Viking boasts open-world exploration and massive battles comprised of hundreds of warriors, but no multi-player mode.

Wii

Obscure: The Aftermath - I love a good survival horror title, and this one looks somewhat promising, if a little campy. Supposedly influenced by teen horror movies, in Obscure you play as students at Fallcreek University who discover strange black flowers (that have hallucinogenic properties) cropping up all over campus… so of course it’s only a matter of time before something goes horribly wrong, and mutants start leaping out at you. This title is also available on PS2, for those out there who can’t seem to find a Wii yet.

Opoona - An RPG from ArtePiazza and Koei, in Opoona you play as the titular character who winds up in a hospital, with no memory of how he got there, and no idea what happened to the rest of his family. Though I don’t know much about it beyond the basic plot, the game is apparently played almost entirely with the Nunchuck attachment.

Octomania - This is a puzzle game from the makers of Puyo Puyo!. It features single player story mode (WTF?) and multi-player mode, as well as being Wi-Fi enabled. The object is to clear variously colored octopi from your screen by matching them with like-colored octopi all while infesting your opponent’s screen with sea urchins. Take a look at the gameplay here. I know I’ve seen this in less advanced versions under other titles on many a casual gaming site.

Nintendo DS

Harvest Moon DS Cute - The only explanation I can think of for this is that certain game developers think that making the main character a little blond girl and slapping the word “cute” in the title will make every DS-owning girl on the planet want this game. I find the marketing insulting… to quote the product description:

“Help break the Harvest King’s spell by tending to your garden and finding the Harvest Sprites. Start by mastering planting fields and tending livestock. Who knows, maybe a handsome guy will help you out, but watch out for that thief! Soon you might even get married and have a child. Come restore the magic. Have either a male or female child. Play as the blonde Claire from the original Harvest Moon for Girls and from More Friends of Mineral Town or the pony-tailed brunette Jill from Another Wonderful Life.”

M&M’s Kart Racing - Dear god, why? That is all.

Here’s a little something for the Guitar Hero-obsessed. This summer, you’ll be able to get your fix on the go, when Guitar Hero on Tour debuts on the Nintendo DS. It comes with a Guitar Grip add-on for the fret controls and a pick-style stylus, and will feature wireless co-op and battle mode. Pre-orders are open, and the game is set for a June 22 release.

Read more over at Kotaku or visit the extremely Flash-heavy Official Site

And if you just can’t wait, you may want to check out the Guitar Hero Competitions going on at both Jillian’s and It’s Brothers next Wednesday night.

I don’t really dig portables. The last handhelds I owned were the original Nintendo GameBoy, (and to be honest, it didn’t get a whole lot of use after they came out with the Super GameBoy adapter for the SNES) and the Sega GameGear (picked up second-hand at a garage sale along with a handful of games, the only one of which that was any good being the Sonic title).

I’m very much a console girl, and probably always will be. I don’t like the tiny screens on handhelds. I don’t like the way the buttons are arranged to accommodate the tiny screens. And did I mention that I don’t like the tiny screens? Itsy, bitsy, teeny, tiny screens.

That said, yesterday, I went out and dropped around $200 on a PSP for the sole purpose of playing one title.

Well, actually two titles, but Final Fantasy: Dissidia hasn’t got a release date yet, and probably won’t make it to the U.S until sometime in 2010 at the earliest, anyway.

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII. Oh sweet mother of Cloud, am I ever a Final Fantasy fangirl. FFVII was the title that really got me hooked on the series (and it’s still my favorite - haters can die in a fire.), so I was very enthusiastic about the release of Advent Children a while back, along with Dirge of Cerberus: FFVII… both direct sequels to the original game.

Advent Children is good, but clearly intended for the rabidly FFVII-obsessed… like me. Dirge of Cerberus is really only enjoyable if you’re A) a fan of Vincent Valentine, and B) not big into shooters. And as much as I love Vinnie, let’s face it - shooters just aren’t Square Enix’s thing, and it definitely showed in DoC.

With Crisis Core, however, I’m hoping for something special. The game has been getting consistently excellent reviews in Japan, and even U.S. gaming sites that have been given a sneak peek have been forced to admit that it doesn’t completely suck. That leaves us with the question… is this one going to live up the the hype when it hits the U.S. on March 25? I sincerely hope it at least comes close. It would be nice if the whoring out of the FFVII franchise amounted to something other than eye candy.

By the way… if anyone has any PSP game recommendations (so that I don’t feel like a total nerd for buying this damn thing for one title) please use the comment form below.